{ 5 Things to Expect After you Get Engaged }

5 Things to Expect After you Get Engaged

Getting engaged was one of the most surreal and special moments in my life. After being together for over 8 years and going through a lot, my now-husband proposed on a quiet night, under a light pink sky right under the Eiffel Tour. I know, it doesn’t get any better than that. In reality, the most special part is that I was finally able to marry the love of my life (insert mushy face here).

When the news of our engagement slowly spread, a lot of unexpected things changed, which I wasn’t prepared for. Luckily, we handled it one at a time and in the end, it just reinforced our relationship. But I thought that I would share some of the things that you should expect after you get engaged so that you can be prepared for it so that you are ready to handle anything that comes your way, because it truly is a special time in your lives and you should cherish every moment of it! (The great news is that it gets even better after you get hitched!)

So here are the 5 things to expect after you get engaged, based on my experience! I have a lot more to say about it but I thought I would narrow it down to the top 5 that I think will be relevant to almost anyone.

The question asked the most often: “When’s the wedding?”

Everyone will ask you the wedding date, followed by awkward hints about whether they are invited or not. Although I didn’t take the first part to heart, it was a bit stressful at times, especially considering that we were in the midst of figuring out what dates was the most feasible with the logistics of life (I had a lease ending at the end of the summer) and also availability of venues. I had to catch myself from reacting negatively to anyone asking me when the wedding was when I had no clue yet and felt overwhelmed with all the factors that had to be considered.

My advice: Take a deep breath and answer with a smile “We don’t know yet!” and change the subject if you don’t want to get into it. In reality, no one needs to know every detail of your wedding planning so don’t feel like you have to give an answer to everyone.

You will receive a lot of unsolicited advice

Seeing someone that you know or that you’re close to getting engaged is really exciting! But with that, a lot of people will give you unsolicited advice about everything and anything related to the wedding. It can be overwhelming and/or annoying at times, especially when you’re not in the mood to constantly hear advice.

My advice: People have good intentions so play along and listen to them but you don’t necessarily have to participate in the conversation but I think that if you remind yourself that people are excited for you and want to contribute to your happy day in any way possible, comments are easier to handle.

You will probably experience strong mixed emotions

There are a lot of unspoken changes that happen with a wedding and those will create some strong emotions. Think about it, you have just decided to spend your lives together, which means that everything will merge into one – your lives, your decisions, your finances, your families. Things will inevitably change! Although it’s exciting and I had (good) butterflies in my stomach, it can be also be overwhelming managing all the other emotions that come with getting engaged. And that’s completely okay!

My advice: Make sure to take a step back once in a while to have some alone-time to re-centre, don’t stop doing things like going to the gym or eating healthy. If anything, you should stick to it even more closely to make sure that you are taking care of yourself. But you also have to take time and acknowledge to changing that are coming so that you can prepare yourself emotionally. And you also need to stop and enjoy the moment – being engaged is an incredible step in your relationship, enjoy it! It’ll only happen once!

You will become obsessed with wedding planning

Okay, I know that this might not be true for everyone, but I became a lot more obsessed than I thought I would! It’s so easy to get sucked into the black hole that is Pinterest, pinning for hours on end. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun! But you might start annoying people around you if that’s all you’re talking about…

My advice: It’s okay to go crazy and have fun with the wedding planning, but don’t forget to make time for other non-wedding related activities and conversations! Your friends are still living their own lives and even though they are most likely happy for you, they also want to be listened to and that the conversation isn’t only about the wedding! So try to find a balance and make sure to ask your friends and family how they’re doing and what’s going on in their lives.

Some friends or family members might react in a weird way… 

And this most likely has nothing to do with you. The reality is, relationships will change because you will officially have a significant other that is going to be an intricate part of your life, so it’s only normal that all the other relationships in your life will inevitably be affected. It’s a natural step in life and people around will react in different ways, some positively and others…not so much.

My advice: Don’t take it personally because a lot of it has to do with whatever is going on in their heads and lives (even if they might not realize it). Continue being your loving and kind self and remember that everyone has their own baggage and that they might be truly happy for you, but they are their own ‘stuff’ to go through. It’s also important to have those conversations with your close friends and family members to talk about it and make sure they know that they are still important parts of your lives, regardless of whether you are getting married. Communicating is key to both sides having the space to express whatever they are going through.

What was your experience like when you got engaged? If you’re not engaged, what’s been your experience with engaged friends/family members? I’m curious to hear about your experiences and observations! Share them in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

5 Things to Expect After you Get Engaged

4 Comments

Deanna

Absolutely to all of these! My fiance and I got engaged in October 2015 while we lived in England, so we avoided some awkward questioning, but now that we’re in the middle of planning we do get the “are we invited?” which is always awkward. We’re trying to avoid any negativity by keeping our evening and planning of it very organic. We’re doing what is true to us as people and a couple and not sacrificing that for anything! It’s hard but worth it 🙂 Great list!

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Sepideh

How interesting – living away must definitely help adding some distance but good luck with the questioning when it arises..

Definitely just stay true to YOU guys!! It’s a special day and you don’t want it to be overshadowed by other peoples’ expectations and drama. Not worth it!

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Sahar

My now-husband and I had a really rough time with unexpected, negative things happened during our engagement. Big life events like these should be all about happiness, but unfortunately, other peoples’ selfishness and sense of entitlement can really ruin it. Thankfully though, our rough ride helped further strengthen our relationship and I hope it did the same for you! It also helped weed out our real friends from other, less ‘real’ ones 😉

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Sepideh

I’m glad to hear it re-inforced your marriage – it did the same for us! And at least you get to weed friendships haha

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