{ Being Okay with not Being Okay }

Being Okay with not being okay

Are there days where you wake up in a bad mood without having an actual reason? Or sometimes during your way, your mood suddenly shifts and you’re just cranky, but you’re not sure why?

Well, there could be many reasons that you’re not in a good mood without being conscious of it. So how do you get out of it? There are many things you can do to feel better and get yourself out of a negative headspace, but before doing that, the first step is being okay with not being okay.

What do I mean by that? It means that instead of fighting the negative emotion and telling yourself that you shouldn’t be cranky, you need to acknowledge and accept that emotion. It doesn’t mean staying in a bad mood, but instead of being hard on yourself and kicking yourself while you’re already down, you need to be kind with yourself and validate your own emotions, whether they are positive or negative.

Let’s put it this way: if your best friend or sister came to you and told you they don’t feel well and are having a hard day, what would you tell them? Would you tell them to suck it up and get over it, or would you treat them with love, care and attention. How would you to talk to them? In a gently and loving way to help them feel better? Or would you dismiss how they’re feeling? Would you acknowledge their emotions and then help them through it?

Then why not use the same approach towards yourself? Having a compassionate and loving approach towards yourself will already help you get back on track in being in a better mood. That is the first step. You have to be okay with not being okay, before you can actually be okay.

So then in practical terms, how do you accept ‘not being okay’. Well, it starts with literally accepting it and just letting the emotion be by telling yourself things like “I’m in a bad mood, and that’s okay, it’ll pass.” Allowing yourself the space to feel that emotion will already ease the tension. This approach is a lot better than fighting it and putting myself in a worse mood by telling myself “I shouldn’t feel this way” or “I shouldn’t be in a bad mood.” Because guess what, everyone has bad days.

What comes next? That depends on why you’re in a bad mood to begin with, but once you have the energy and mental space, it’ll be easier to figure out why you’re in a bad mood to begin with. If it’s just ‘one of those days’, then simply do the things that put you in a better mood, like taking a bath, seeing a friend, going for a workout. If your bad mood is caused by a specific reason, think about one step that you can take towards ‘fixing’ or addressing the problem. For example, if you are frustrated with your body and health, get your ass to the gym at that moment! Take an immediate step towards countering the frustration. Or if you have an issue with a friend or family member, write down a few thoughts on what you can talk to them about and what you can say to resolve the issue.

Regardless of what triggered your bad mood, taking one step towards making it better will drastically improve how you feel about it in the moment, and you can empower yourself to feel as though you have control over your emotions.

What are some things that you do to get yourself out of a bad mood? How do you deal with negative internal self-talk? What are ways that you can become more compassionate and kind towards yourself? I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic! Please share in the comments section below or through social media, @SeppyforLove! I’m always looking to hear from your experiences so that I can also learn!

8 Comments

Deanna

Lovely advice! I have the same outlook in terms of approaching a bad mood. I struggle with anxiety and depression. I have a good list of things to do that will perk me up a bit…go for a hike, read a book, have tea and cookies, visit a museum. I try to rely on these during my worst days! Most of them are quiet activities where I can think about things but also stay busy and avoid wallowing. Great post!

http://www.luxandvitae.com

Reply
Sepideh

That’s great that you’re so aware of what helps you through those moments where you need to just take care of yourself! I have a list in my Bullet Journal but I have to make sure to be conscious of it because it can be easy for me to ‘wallow’ and just stay in a negative headspace and forget to look at my list and apply the things that I know will help me.

Thanks for sharing <3

Reply
kerstin

Loved reading this! Such a lovely piece of writing and I do agree with you. It definitely is okay not to always be okay. I just recently found this beautiful quote that says “a flower does not bloom all year round. So don’t expect yourself to do so either”. Couldn’t agree more.

Love, kerstin
http://www.missgetaway.com/

Reply
Cristina - Memories of the Pacific

You make really good points here! I think it’s really important to be compassionate towards yourself. I tend to beat myself up when I don’t feel well and I should stop doing that. Thanks for the advice, I’ll try to put it into practice 🙂

http://www.memoriesofthepacific.com

Reply
Sepideh

Thanks Cristina! I think it’s important to recognize that we not perfect and that we need to allow ourselves to just BE! I’m so hard on myself as well and it’s not fair, we should be compassionate the same way we would be with a close friend! And to be honest, this blogpost was a good reminder even for myself, the past two weeks I’ve been hard on myself because I haven’t been in the best mood, but it’s okay, practice makes perfect!

Reply
Belle

I love this post Seppy. I struggle to quiet self criticism. Sometimes it just loops around and around in my head. It’s so counterproductive because everyone naturally responds better to encouragement and positive reinforcement! Yoga helps me 🙂

http://www.thislifeisbelle.com

Reply
Sepideh

Thank you for sweet comments darling, I appreciate it. And it’s nice to connect with someone that understands the struggle haha It’s easy to get stuck in a negative pattern of thought and just berate yourself. It’s a lot of mental work to change that but it’s so worth it in the long-run. Yoga is great for that indeed, I need to be more systematic about practicing!

Reply

Leave a Reply