{ 4 Important Lessons After One Year Of Marriage }

4 important lessons after one year of marriage

I’m giving you fair warning, I’m going to get gushy-mushy in this blogpost (and I’m not even sorry about it). Being married has been incredible and I really wanted to share 4 important lessons I learned after one year of marriage. This is my way of sharing what I’ve learned so far, but it’s also a nice way to journal (publicly) some reflections on married life.

Some of you might be thinking that one year isn’t a long time to be sharing lessons. And to some extent, I agree. But at the same time, I’m the type of person that spends a lot of time reflecting on my actions, behaviours, what works and doesn’t work, what I can work on and what are my strengths that I can continue developing, all so that I can constantly improve as an individual, and now as someone’s wife. I want to to be the best version of me, not only for my own sake, but also for the sake of my marriage! What’s interesting is that some of these lessons are relevant to those of you not married yet or who aren’t even in a relationship, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on what YOU think contributes to a healthy relationship (romantic or not).

Invest in your personal growth: take time to reflect on your progress Click To Tweet

Let’s get to it then! Today, we are celebrating my one year wedding anniversary. If I could relive the day every year, I totally would. It was one of my most memorable days of my life. I’m still in awe and SO grateful that I was able to marry such a wonderful person and I feel so blessed to have him by my side for the rest of my life. Our path to marriage hasn’t been easy (I might share that story with you one day) and now that we’re married, I think it’s important to appreciate our marriage and constantly reflect on the progress that we’ve made to make sure that we continue improving and growing.

After one year of marriage, I can definitely say that it isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it, especially when you’re with the right person. Everyone always told me that marriage is hard work and although I could conceptually understood why, I never truly understood it until we got married (maybe I’ll do a separate blogpost about it if you’re interested about the topic of marriage. I would have liked to have prepared myself a bit more on the transition to married life so if any of you are interested, I can write about that topic. Let me know in the comment section below!).

Marriage isn't always easy, but it's ALWAYS worth it Click To Tweet

I know that one year of marriage isn’t a lot. But what’s really nice is that some of the habits and dynamics that we had in our relationship while dating have only been reinforced in our marriage. So I think they’re important for anyone in a serious relationship to remember to foster these aspects so that you can build a strong foundation for marriage or a lasting relationship (if you don’t want to get married). So here you are, 4 important lessons I learned after one year of marriage!

{ Communication is key }

This needs to be hammered in everyone’s heads because communication is not only important in friendships and family relationships, but even more so in a marriage. You need to communicate about ev.ery.thing. And I mean everything. Talk about expectations for chores, cooking, sleeping habits, how to organize the fridge, pantry, kitchen, linen closet, how you want to spend your money, what your finances will look like, how household expenses will be shared, your needs, your emotions, your reactions, why something upset you… and the list goes on and on…and on. You can’t assume that your partner knows what you’re thinking or feeling so you have to learn how to express that in an effective and clear way.

It’s about what you’re communicating but also HOW you’re communicating. I strongly believe that it’s better not to talk when you’re upset or angry, but if you must talk about it in the moment, make sure to try and take a few deep breaths and calm yourself as best you can. Talking with each other in a polite tone and staying respectful is the first step in keeping the lines of communication open. If you start insulting the other person or raising your voice, your partner is less likely to be open to hearing what you have to say. And the same way that you expect to be heard, you also have to be present and listen to what your partner has to say and put your ego aside to recognize when you’re wrong and to apologize if necessary.

These are all the foundations of effective and constructive communication to create strong bridges between the two of you because you want to create trust, honesty, respect and openness. You want your partner to trust that if they have something on their mind, they can come to you and talk to you about it and you won’t bite their heads off. If you create an environment where you can’t talk to each other, things will go south very quickly because you will start holding things back from each other instead of sharing and talking things through.

Create a safe environment built on trust, honesty, respect and openness Click To Tweet

{ Appreciate the little things }

Life is so short and you never know when it’s your last day. I don’t want to get too dark on you but it’s so important to remember that. Don’t take anything for granted and appreciate the little things. Appreciate being able to come home to your partner, for their acts of kindness like emptying the dishwasher or doing the laundry even though that’s something you usually do. Vocalize that you appreciate them so that they know that you noticed it. Take the moment to appreciate being able to wake up beside them. Take in the small moments of cuddling in bed or cuddling on the couch watching a movie on a Friday night instead of going out. These intimate moments are just between you and your partner and it’s important to internalize them and appreciate them.

Life is too short, appreciate the little things Click To Tweet

I believe that by appreciating the little things (which I actually don’t think are ‘little’ by any means because they are so precious and special), you’re also growing your love and bond with each other because you are reinforcing the ‘day-to-day’ things that actually contribute to your connection and life together. Life is about the day-to-day. It isn’t always about the grand romantic gestures. To me, my hubby knowing that me well enough to do things around the house when I don’t have the physical or emotional energy are the things that I appreciate the most and remind me that he loves me and is there for me. So do the same for your partner, and tell them how much you appreciate what they did for you, because a sincere thank you, a hug and a kiss go a long way.

{ Prioritize your marriage }

I believe that marriage is not only two people coming together and committing themselves to a life together, but it’s also about two families creating a new bigger family! However, especially in the first year of marriage (and maybe even in the first couple of years), I think it’s important to prioritize your marriage. You are still adjusting to a new life together and are creating habits and adjusting to a new lifestyle, so it’s going to be uncomfortable at times. The priority is each other and your new family unit. Once that family unit is strong, you will be able to manage everything else a lot more easily. If your marriage is a safe haven from the world, then you will be able to retreat to it no matter what happens and you will be stronger individuals because of it. Prioritize each other and put your marriage first when you are making decisions to ensure that it is contributing to the well-being of your relationship.

{ Keep on taking care of each other }

After you get married, you have to work even harder on your relationship. Marriage is the beginning of your life together, don’t you want to make it as amazing as possible? That’s why you have to continue treating each other the way you would if you were dating and trying to impress the other person: surprise each other with little notes around the house, cook for your partner their favourite dish and leave it in the fridge, prepare their lunch, do the laundry and put it away, tidy up the house, make the bed, pick up their favourite drink or snack if you’re at the grocery store. Know what makes your partner happy and DO IT. There are so many little things you can do it for each other and it’s important to continue doing it so that your partner feels taken care of and that they know that you are thinking of them and want to make them happy.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but knowing your partner and fulfilling their needs is one of the most basic ways that you can show your love. Continue doing things for each other and finding new ways of surprising each other so that you can constantly remind your partner through your actions that you are thinking of them and that you love them!

Now I want to hear from YOU! What’s one thing that you think is important to create a strong relationship?  

4 Important Lessons After One Year of Marriage

6 Comments

Anonymous

These are really good tips 🙂 A lot of people think that the first year of marriage can be one of the hardest, so it’s totally reasonable that you’d have lessons to share. It’s awesome that you’ve made the effort to live so conscientiously. Justin and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary this year, and these were some of the lessons I’ve learned so far: http://www.thislifeisbelle.com/home/2017/5/12/10-years-married-today

Marriage is a living, breathing, changing, growing, dynamic partnership. It’s so healthy (and appropriate) that you’re tending to yours and giving it the love and consideration it deserves. Congratulations on your first wedding anniversary!

Reply
Deanna

Lovely post and congratulations on your first anniversary!! My fiance and I don’t have rules necessarily, but we do try our best to communicate from a place of respect rather than a place of anger. Disagreements are healthy and necessary when they come from the right place – so we just try our best to take it minute by minute and learn from those mistakes.

http://www.luxandvitae.com

Reply
Sepideh

Thank you so much Deanna!! I also think disagreements are healthy and can contribute positively to your relationship if that’s how you handle it!

Reply

Leave a Reply