Is your fear of not achieving your goals holding you back from setting ANY goals? Here are the 6 common fears about goals because if you understand a fear, it becomes easier to dispel them. The more you understand what’s holding you back from achieving your goals, the easier it will be to find the path to your dream life.
Ok guys, let’s talk about an uncomfortable subject: FEAR.
We all have it. But it’s one of those things where we know that we all have it, but we don’t talk about it enough because of shame? Because of fear of judgment (HA! See what I did there?).
But the reality is that we ALL have fears. We’re all afraid of something, and often, they’re the SAME thing.
So the more we talk about our fears, the more we can share our experiences, not feel alone, and actually DO something about the fear to overcome it so that it doesn’t hold us back anymore!
What is fear?
I mean…it seems like an option question but you know me well enough by now that I like to define things first because it helps us understand it better.
Fear is a belief that we have created in our minds to protect ourselves from a real or perceived danger. For example, if there’s a risk of getting physically hurt, then your mind will go into “FEAR MODE” and hold you back from doing something like jumping from an airplane.
Fear is therefore a defence mechanism that your mind has created to protect you from danger.
But here’s the thing: sometimes the danger is real (i.e. spiders**) and sometimes it isn’t. And that’s the part that we have to consciously differentiate so that we are not going through life, living in constant fear of what might or might not happen.
** Real story: I grew up in Africa and was bitten on my right arm by a poisonous spider. I still remember how red it was and how much puss (gross, I know) there was on my arm. So yes, I have a real fear of spiders. Maybe it’s not rational anymore considering I live in Canada and we don’t have poisonous spiders. (or do we…?)
So how do you handle fear?
Well, you listen to it.
The same way you need to listen to your emotions because they’re sending you a message, your fear is also telling you something. Whether it’s real or not, you have to listen to hear the message and assess it’s validity and determine what you need to do.
Do you need to stop? Do you need to proceed with caution and take protective measures? Or maybe you just need to ignore the fear and just jump right in?
PIN NOW, READ LATER!
Fear + goals = …?
Alright so now what? What does fear mean when it comes to achieving your goals and creating your dream life?
Well, your goals SHOULD be a bit uncomfortable to begin with. You need to feel a little bit of fear when you think about your goals because your goals have to challenge you otherwise you will not feel the urge and the motivation to get it done!
But there’s a fine balance between feeling a bit of fear and feeling completely overwhelmed to the point where you are paralyzed with the fear of not achieving your goals.
And depending on the fear that you’re feeling when you’re setting or achieving your goals, this could simply be a sign that it’s the right goal, because something important in your life needs to change because you might be scared of NOT changing, of staying the same, of being stuck in the same rut that you’ve been in.
But on the flip side, you don’t want your fear to become paralyzing because that means that you’re already deciding the outcome of your goals. You’re stopping yourself from trying to achieve your goals because you’re too afraid of what it would mean if you didn’t achieve your goals.
Because sometimes, it’s more comfortable and easy to stay in the discomfort. And moving away from what you know, from what you’re comfortable with, is harder and more uncomfortable than just staying in the discomfort.
Does that make sense?
Alright so let’s jump into the common fears when it comes to goal-setting. And as you’re going through them, I want you to think about what resonates with you, and what emotions come up. Be honest with yourself because if you can pinpoint YOUR fears, then guess what? It will be easier to overcome them so that you can slay your goals and create your dream life!
Fear # 1 | “I don’t deserve to be successful”
The first fear that plagues many of us and holds us back from achieving our goals is that we believe that we don’t deserve success.
And this often is a subconscious belief, that will then translate into self-sabotage or giving up on a goal.
So where does this belief come from? And how can we overcome it?
The first step in ANY personal development journey is the awareness. When you become away of a thought or a belief or in this case, a fear, you can shed light on it and be conscious of it so that if it does come up, you can consciously work through the belief.
And to work through the fear of not deserving to be successful, you need a mindset shift to recognize that this is simply your inner bitch talking, simply just to be an inner bitch.
Because this belief…this fear…let’s be real here, it’s plain stupid.
And don’t get me wrong. I’m not calling YOU stupid, because I’m also guilty of this fear and have to consciously repel it from my mind.
But if you really think about it, who the heck has the right to decide whether you deserve to be successful or not. EVERYONE deserves to be successful, to be happy, to thrive, and to live their dream lives.
No one is better than anyone else and we all deserve the same thing: success.
So know your worth and what you deserve, because you sure as heck deserve to be successful!
Can I get a “HECK YAS!!”.
Fear # 2 | “I don’t have the time”
Ok, I need you to be brutally honest right now: when’s the last time you thought to yourself “I don’t have time to…” do something to work towards your goal, go to the gym, eat healthy?
Are you guilty of that?
For the longest time, I kept on telling myself that I dont have time to do everything I wanted. And guess what happened? It stressed me the eff out. I was consntaly rushing and trying to get so much sh*t done in a day and would be left feeling tired, frustrated that I didn’t do all the things I wanted to do and just feel annoyed with myself.
But the thing is, I had the wrong mindset. Because time is a relative term.
Think about it for a second: how do you define having a lot of time? How many hours does that mean?
Ok, now ask the SAME question to a friend – what’s their number?
See, we all have different perceptions of time and what that represents. And having the perspective that we don’t have enough time, we’re simply adding on a fear that leads to frustration.
- Related: How to Transform your Mindset
You need to learn to always describe ANYTHING from a mindset of ABUNDANCE, like you have ALL the time in the world.
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to tell yourself you have SO much time that you don’t get anything done.
What I mean is that if you remove the stressor of time, if you don’t pressure yourself and live in fear that you’re lacking time, then you can have a clearer mind to assess how you spend your time to begin with and then be able to figure out an EFFECTIVE use of your time so that you have a healthy balance between work, life, taking care of yourself, socializing etc.
Because your fear shouldn’t be the lack of time, you should instead be afraid of HOW you spend your time and making sure that every moment counts (Note to self…and to you: down time and relaxing also counts!).
Fear # 3 | “I’m afraid of failing…again!”
By now, I hope that you’re already having a few Ah-A moments. And if you haven’t, then I’m pretty sure that I’m going to get most of you with this fear, which is SOOOOOOO common.
The fear of failure.
What is failure, really? It’s a perception, and not something real.
Because failure doesn’t exist, if you’re able to learn and grow from the situation.
Failure is your perception of not having done what you “should have” done or having the result that you thought you should have.
Do you see how those are both created by YOU? So in reality, what you “should” be doing and accomplishing is something that you decided to put on yourself.
Therefore, failure doesn’t exist.
As long as you change your mindset and understand that the fear of failure is simply your mind trying to protect you from the pain of “failure”, then you can shift that perspective to telling yourself that there is no failure, only growth. That failure doesn’t exist and doesn’t hurt, because you’re always learning.
Because at the end of the day, you need to focus on growth and progress, and not on perfection. Because perfection does NOT exist. That’s the beauty of being human!
And if you feel like you failed, there’s message you can take away from the situation: maybe you weren’t ready to achieve that goal and still need to grow as a person. Or maybe your approach wasn’t holistic enough and you had some key components missing to achieve your goals, for example, maybe you haven’t worked on your mindset enough.
Fear # 4 | “I don’t know how”
I get it, you want to achieve your goals but sometimes, it just feels so damn overwhelming that you don’t even know where to start. I GET IT!
But here’s the thing – this shouldn’t be stopping from trying an approach, and if it doesn’t work, you change it, again, again and again, until it DOES work and until you DO reach your goals.
The fear of of NOT knowing is valid but is also not valid.
Because even though it can be overwhelming, don’t be afraid of trying. There’s no perfect path or perfect solution to ANYTHING. And until you try it, you will never know what works for you and what doesn’t work.
For example, if you’re trying to lose weight, it’s not that complicated. The science and tips and advise are everywhere. Just choose ONE thing and try it out ! And then add another thing, and another.
Achieving your goals doesn’t have to be complicated. It really does start by simply taking one step at a time, being patient and to keep trying.
Ignore the fear of not knowing because guess what, no one really knows!
Even me! How do you think I learned how to set and achieve my goals??
Has it been a straightforward path? No.
Has my strategy changed along the way? HECK YES.
Did I know what I was doing at the beginning? No, but I sure as heck tried my best.
And that’s what I want you to do. Do your best. Try. And keep trying.
Because you deserve to create a live that you LOVE, that you’re obsessed with and so proud of. But you have to start somewhere. You have to take a step towards achieving your goals.
Fear # 5 | “I don’t know what I want”
Another recurring fear, and I hear you! It’s scary not knowing what the heck you want!
But again, do you think that *I* knew exactly what I wanted a few years ago!? NO!
The beauty of goals is that they can change all the time. You can decide that this isn’t the right goal for you or that you want to achieve something else altogether.
Being scared of not knowing what you want should actually be a really fun place to be in! Because that means that you have the ability to explore and discover what you DO want!
You have the freedom to tell yourself that the world is within your reach and that you can have and do anything you want! You just need to be open to the answers that the Universe, or God, or whatever you want to call “IT” because the moment you set out to find what your heart desires and you stay open to it, you WILL figure out what you want.
And it all starts by asking the right questions so that you can be guided in the right direction!
Fear # 6 | “It’s going to be too hard”
Remember how at the beginning, we talked about how fear is your mind’s defence mechanism to protect from potential harm and discomfort?
Well, this is how it manifests itself: you’re scared that it’s going to be hard, so you’re subconsciously not even going to try and figure out what you want let alone try to get it.
But here’s a news flash for you: it IS going to be hard.
There. I said it.
Figuring out what you want and achieving your goals WILL get hard. At times.
But… it’s going to be worth every damn effort and sweat and tears, especially when you start seeing the results and feeling how you’re transforming and gaining confidence and becoming happier.
And trust me, you’re going to feel like this while you’re still working towards your goals, not even achieving the goal fully!
Because achieving your goals is a journey, it’s a process of personal development where you have to transform yourself to transform your life.
And when you’ve been able to overcome your limiting beliefs and your fears, and you’re doing your best to work towards achieving your goals, you will feel a deeper sense of pride and you will feel empowered and so inspired by your own journey that you will want to keep on going, despite the discomfort and the fear.
From the list of fears that I mentioned here, pinpoint the one that resonates the most with you and try to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions the next time that it comes up so that you can rationalize through it and overcome it!