Feeling unhappy in your life, and you’re not sure why? Are you ready to find happiness and feel better on a more consistent basis? Find out 6 reasons why you might be unhappy.
Do you ever look at some people in your life and wonder how they can be so happy all the time? Why they’re smiling and laughing all the time?
And do you wonder why you don’t feel happy all the time? Why there are days or weeks where there seems to be a dark cloud over your head that you can’t seem to shake off?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I can guarantee that most people go through life feeling unhappy, without taking the time to understand why, let alone having the courage to even admit that they are not happy.
But you’re different. You had the wisdom to know that something is off, and the courage to admit that you want more. And that’s why you’re here.
Happiness is one of those things that can be hard to define and quantify, but here’s my attempt, in the hopes that it helps you understand it a bit more, but most importantly, that it helps guide you towards it.
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As your reading this blog post, I want you to remember one key point : happiness is subjective. It’s how YOU define happiness and how you feel it and experience it. I want you to inspire yourself from what I write so that you can better understand how you define happiness, for yourself.
Because happiness is about how you feel, how you experience life, and about the things that bring you joy. And some things might make me happy, but won’t make you happy. As long as you keep an open mind and start “experimenting” with new ideas and definitions of happiness.
You also have to keep in mind that the more aware you are in your quest for happiness, the more your definition will narrow down, but will also change with time. Because as you go through life and experiences, your definition and perception of happiness will change, and you have to be open to that.
Alright, are you ready to start feeling happier and to shake off the unhappiness you’ve been feeling? Let’s get to it then!
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I find that sometimes, to understand a concept, it helps to define the opposite of what we’re trying to achieve.
In this case, you’re here because you want to feel happier. So let’s first take a look at what it means to be unhappy, that way you can better understand what you DON’T want anymore.
So why have you been feeling unhappy? What are some areas in your life that you’re not satisfied with, that you would like to change? Is it your health? Is it your confidence? Or perhaps you’re unhappy at work and your career?
Whatever it is, you have the right to be unhappy, and the first step is to acknowledge it.
Now try and take a few minutes to think about the areas in your life that make you unhappy and ask yourself:
- Why am I unhappy with this area?
- How does this make me feel (other than “unhappy”)?
- How long have I been unhappy with this area? Why?
- What is it, specifically, that makes me feel unhappy?
You have to try and dig deeper because when you have a specific example of something that makes you unhappy, then you can start understand the reasons why you’re unhappy with it, to then be able to understand the opposite : What DOES make you happy.
I know that some of these concepts might not seem super obvious, but trust me, the more you ask yourself these questions, the more you reflect, the more you will have an understanding of happiness.
And keep in mind that you might not have the exact answers right away. The point here is for you to start thinking about these concepts and to have them in the back of your mind so that with time and experiences, your definition and understanding will keep on changing and evolving.
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At this point, I could give you a definition of what unhappiness means to me and what it looks like, so that you can get ideas of how you can define it for yourself. But again, you have to define these concepts for yourself, and even inspire yourself from people around to start seeing how others define and experience unhappiness (and happiness) so that you can see how different they can be, and then take the bits and pieces that make sense to you.
To me, I am unhappy when:
- I don’t feel fulfilled in my career. I have to feel as though my work is contributing to the world in a meaningful way and impacting the lives of others.
- I am not taking care of myself, whether it’s my body (i.e. not exercising enough or eating healthy) or my mind (i.e. not practicing some of the habits that help me manage my anxiety).
- I feel like I am not progressing and growing as an individual, because otherwise, I don’t understand the point of my life – if I am not growing, I am stagnating and things won’t get better.
Now that you have taken the time to define unhappiness a bit more for yourself (and I hope that you’ve taking notes as ideas come into mind!), let’s take a closer look at specific reasons why you’re unhappy.
Some of these reasons might not be relevant to you, or they might all be relevant to you. Again, just keep an open mind and try to assess your level of unhappiness in a non-judgmental way so that you can acknowledge the problem and then start trying to fix it!
Reason # 1 | You’re not grateful
Let’s be real here, life can be hard, and I know that sometimes, it just feels like everything is going wrong. I get it, I’ve been there too.
But here’s the thing : that’s life. There’s always going to be something that feels like it’s going “wrong”. And if you continue to focus on that, of course you’re going to be unhappy!
If you’re unhappy, then you need to start paying attention to the things in your life that you’re grateful for so that you can shift your perspective and realize that it’s not as bad as you might think.
Even if it’s little things, gratitude will shift your unhappy state of mind towards a perspective where you realize that you are blessed and that things aren’t as bad as you’re making them out to be.
Reason # 2 | You need to shift your mindset
If you feel unhappy, then maybe you need to shift your mindset. If you go back to the exercise about understanding the reasons why you’re unhappy, then you can perhaps start seeing things differently – is it really as bad as you’re making it out to be?
Yes, you might not love your job, but maybe you can shift your mindset and see that at least you have a job, or maybe there are parts of your job that you do enjoy?
When you’re unhappy, it’s easy to get caught up in a cycle where you’re focused on the things that make you unhappy. But take a moment to try and shift your mindset to see that it might not be as bad as you think it is.
Or maybe it is just as bad as you think it is, which is also okay. But you have to try and shift your mindset towards the things in your life that do bring you some happiness, otherwise, you’re going to get sucked into a hole of unhappiness and the deeper it gets, the harder it is to come out of it (sorry for the tough love, but it had to be said).
Reason # 3 | You need to find more meaning in your life
Do you wake up in the morning with a clear vision of what your day/week/month/year will look like? Do you have direction, purpose and meaning in your life?
If you’re unhappy, I’m guessing your answer is no.
And even if you do have some direction and goals in your life, but you’re going through a challenging time, it’s hard to keep that vision alive and not get caught up and feel unhappy.
But when you try and find more meaning in your day-to-day, whether it’s by helping someone, doing something for yourself, taking a small step towards your goal, or changing your mindset, those little steps will have a big impact, if you continue doing them.
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The more you focus on finding meaning in your life, the more you try to shift your mindset towards the things that make you happy, the more happiness you will find.
And keep in mind that it can be simple things. You can literally just wake up and choose that you want to feel happy today. That you want to help someone. That you want to find meaning in the things that you have to do that feel so mundane.
Because everything you do, every thought that you have, has a purpose. And if you find a deeper meaning in it, the more you can cultivate happiness in your life.
Reason # 4 | You’re pursuing the wrong thing
Sorry to burst your bubble but if you feel unhappy, then you’re probably pursuing the wrong things in life.
And what do I mean by the “wrong things” – I mean that you’re seeking things that are not meaningful, that don’t make you truly happy but that mimic an idea of happiness that’s actually wrong.
An easy example is wanting more “stuff” – a new purse, new shoes, new clothes…mateiral things.
Those things can bring you a momentary feeling that might seem like happiness, but in reality, it’s not. The emotions that you’re feeling when you’re pursuing the wrong things are an idea of happiness that you created in your mind, that’s not actual happiness. It’s the idea of something that makes you think that you need more of it and that it will make you happy.
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Let me be more specific so that you can understand better what I’m saying. If you think that more “things” will make you happier, it’s not the “thing” itself that makes you happier, but the feeling it brings.
So for example, buying something new makes you feel empowered that you can buy something, or it might make you feel significant and important that you can buy and wear the latest trend.
So in reality, it’s not the thing itself, but what it represents. It’s the feeling and emotion that it conveys that you’re seeking, not the thing itself.
If you’re unhappy, you then must reflect on the things that you’re pursuing and really understanding what it is that you’re after by seeking those things.
Is it to feel more “important” or “cool”? Is it because it makes you feel more “powerful” or “in control”? Guess what? You can feel all those things without having to spend a dime! Because happiness is a state of mind and a state of being. And happiness is a choice, and it comes from within.
Reason # 5 | You’re not growing
Do you actively take charge of your personal development? Do you make the time to read, learn and reflect so that you can grow and try to continuously become a better version of yourself, every day?
See, if you’re not growing, you’re stagnating, and that’s making you unhappy, without even realizing it. Because the more you learn about yourself, and the more time you invest in yourself, the happier you will feel because you will have a deeper understanding of important things like happiness!
If you’re feeling unhappy in your life right now, I bet you anything that in the last little while, you haven’t made the time to really work on yourself and grow.
And if you’re here, then maybe that means that deep down, you know that you should be more actively working on yourself, so at least you’re on the right track right now.
The question is : will you keep going? After you finish reading this blog post, what will you do to make an effort and to change things around for yourself so that you can feel happier?
Reason # 6 | You’re not taking care of yourself
If you’re unhappy, then it might be as simple as you needing to take better care of yourself. Whether that means your physical or emotional health and well-being, you should be practicing self-care on a daily basis.
Because if you feel better, then it will be easier to have the emotional resources to think about and work on the things that make you feel unhappy in your life.
I know that the topic of happiness can be an overwhelming one at times because it can feel so distant or ambiguous.
But trust me when I say that happiness is within your reach. That you can feel happy, despite what your life has been like. It starts with small and incremental changes and shifts that in the long-run, will impact your life in big ways.
But you have to start somewhere. You have to start thinking about concepts like happiness so that you can have a better understanding of what it means to you. You have to start building the habits and routines in your life so that you can actively create a life that you love.
And if you want to create a life that you love, a life filled with meaning and purpose, then the Create a Life of Love and Purpose Master Class is for you and will help you do EXACTLY that! To find out more about what you will learn in this course, click the link below.