Do you feel like you don’t have direction or control over your life? If you want to take control of your life, gain clarity of vision and a clear direction of where you’re going next, then this one’s for you! Find out the 3 simple questions you can ask yourself to take control of your life, one step at a time.
Do you ever look around and feel like other people have their sh*t together, and you’re just frazzled dingbat that can barely remember to drink enough water every day?
You don’t need to feel alone in this, because let me tell you, everyone…and I really mean everyone…feels like they don’t have control over their lives.
And that’s the beauty of it. There’s NO WAY you can have control of everything, all the time. That is completely unrealistic and if you can start by removing that pressure from yourself, you’re already doing yourself a huge favour.
Because the reality is that life will always…and I mean ALWAYS…throw you a curve ball. So if you learn how to let go and realize that you can’t have control over every aspect of your life, then you’re already a step ahead of the game!
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Now… let’s be real… because even if I just gave you a speech about not being able to control your life, we both know what you’re thinking…
“TELL ME HOW TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE!!!”
And I’m hearing you, loud and clear.
Despite my initial disclosure, what I can say is that you CAN control SOME things in your life. But it’s not what you think….
Yes, you can schedule everything, be as organized as you want and plan ahead as much as you want, but sh*t happens and you can’t always predict it.
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So yes, I’m here to teach you how to take control of your life, but it won’t be what you expect… and I hope that you will hear me out and read through this whole blog post to see what I have to say.
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What true “control” looks like
So let’s get to the core of this post : what do I mean by “control” and what does that look like, in practical terms?
Like I said before, you can’t control everything, all the time. The world just doesn’t work that way. And you can try as hard as you want, but things will always manage to slip away from you, no matter how hard you try.
So the secret to true control is to understand that you don’t have real control over any situation.
The only thing you DO have control over is yourself.
Yes. That’s what we will be focusing on.
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Think about it – can you control the weather? (if you answer yes, then we need to have a talk, I have a few requests for you). No, you can’t.
Can you control the health of your loved ones? Nope.
Can you control how someone reacts to you? … Nope… and good luck trying!
You see, life has a funny way of teaching us lessons, and this one has been a big one for me, which is what brought me to write this blog post for you, because I don’t want you to learn the hard way, like I have.
I want you to drill this into your head : you cannot control the outcome of ANYTHING. You can try and influence it or change its course, but you cannot control and predict the result.
The only thing you can control and change is how you feel and perceive a situation and what it means. You have control over how you choose to address a situation, and what you choose to focus on. But you do not have control over the outcome.
For example, if you get fired (knock on wood you don’t…) you unfortunately don’t have control over the decision that has been made. However, you do have control over how you take the news, how you interpret it, how you choose to face it, how you choose to feel about it, and how you choose to deal with it.
You can choose to be angry, sad, lash out and feel frustrated (which…you might have the right to, so feel whatever you need to feel). But realistically, will that change the outcome? Doubtful.
What you do have control over, however, is choosing how you’re going to react to being fired and what you will do with it – will you get sad and angry and waste time focusing on those intense emotions?
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Or will you choose to feel your emotions, and then take control of your life and decide that this is a sign from the Universe, that there’s a better job out there for you, and then sit down and figure out how you will try to find that job!
You have to understand that despite your external reality, despite what might be happening in your life and any challenges you might be facing, that you have control over your internal reality.
In other words, you have control over how you feel about a situation, how you react to it, and how you move forward. You have control over how you choose to feel on a daily basis, and what you choose to do and focus on
So… now that you understand the concept of “control” that I’m talking about, let’s get into the practical component – HOW do you take control of your life so that in moments where you’re facing a challenging situation, you can maintain control of yourself?
It’s as simple as asking yourself 3 questions, every single day, to help you reflect on whether you are being mindful and controlling your thoughts and emotions, which in turn will impact whether or not you are able to take control of your life.
You must take charge of yourself if you want to take control of your life, because you and you alone have control over your life.
You have to try, every day, to be the best version of yourself, and these 3 questions will help you reflect every day on how you’re progressing and what you can do differently.
Here are the 3 questions you must ask yourself, on a daily basis, to take control of your life:
QUESTION 1 | Did I live fully?
What does living a full life look to you? What does it feel like?
Take a moment and think about it – how do you want experience your life, your days? And how do you want to feel on a daily basis?
These are the important questions you need to ask yourself to better understand what a “full life” looks like so that every day, can you enjoy your life.
And sometimes, the answer to the questions are as simple as : enjoying the moment, being present, being mindful, respecting myself, connecting with my friends and family.
Living life “fully” doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to be a grandiose vision either, because at the end of the day, life is about the small moments, spent with yourself, or with loved ones.
It’s the little moments and that make up the big moments.
QUESTION 2 | Did I love fully?
If you want to take control of your life, you have to love unconditionally. To love yourself, your life and others unconditionally.
Be honest with yourself : Do you love yourself fully? Do you love others fully? Do you love and appreciate your life fully?
Love is the foundation of a creating dream your life – if you do everything from a place of love, for yourself, for others, for the world around you and for your life, then you will be able to create amazing things for yourself.
Don’t let the days pass you by. Learn how to love yourself and your life fully, while also dreaming up more amazing things for yourself so that you can create your dream life.
QUESTION 3 | Did I contribute something meaningful to the world around me?
This one might seem contradictory but this is a powerful one.
The moment you step of yourself, your life, and your bubble, and you try to contribute something meaningful to the people around you or the community around you, then you are taking control of your life.
Because you are using your skills, resources and energy to put out something positive into the world, which will be returned to you in an even more meaningful way.
This is obvious but I still have to give your homework!
Take 10-15 minutes and reflect on your day – go through the 3 questions above and write down how you did.
By asking yourself these questions, you are constantly refocusing and taking control of your thoughts, your attention, your efforts and your energy towards creating the life that you want to live.