{ 5 Ways to Practice Self-Love }

What is self-love and how to do you practice it on a daily basis? Let me just say that I’m still learning how to love myself and it isn’t always easy, but there are some basics things that you can do every day to learn how to love yourself. Like a muscle, your self-love will grow with time and you will soon discover how amazing you actually are!

A lot of us struggle with self-love for many reasons – upbringing, past experiences, what we have seen around us, how others have treated us… but what I’ve learned is that all of that doesn’t matter anymore. Even though I’m the type of person that needs to understand the ‘why’ behind something, the more important part to focus on is ‘how’ – how do you practice self-love? How do you learn to love yourself? It takes a bit of mental work, but trust me, if I can learn how to love myself, so can you! So here are my tips on how to practice self-love which I’ve done pretty consistently and have helped a lot!

{ Tip #1 | Me-Time }

Last week, I was feeling really anxious and tired and I could feel like I was reaching my limit and I knew I desperately needed some me-time. When you acknowledge that you are an individual and that you have needs that must be taken care of, you are practicing self-love. If your sister or friend was feeling run down, what advice would you give them? To push through and keep on going, or take a time out and take care of themselves? So that’s exactly what I did for myself: I went to the gym (another way that I practice self-love!), went window shopping alone and enjoyed the beautiful weather, bought myself a healthy and delicious take-out dinner and went home to plop myself on the couch and turned Netflix on. I made the conscious decision that I wasn’t going to do anything that I didn’t feel like doing. I didn’t post on Instagram, I didn’t scroll through Twitter or Facebook – I just sat and watched Jane the Virgin (which, I’m SO late in the game but WOW I was instantly hooked!). And guess what? By the end of the evening, when my hubby came home from work, I was in a good mood, back to my laughing and teasing self. I almost couldn’t remember why I had been feeling anxious, like the stuff didn’t matter anymore. I had some me-time, did something for me, and in the end, I felt better.

{ Tip #2 | Know Yourself }

The previous tip wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t know what I enjoy doing and what relaxes me. I know that a good sweat session, a bit of shopping (without having to necessarily spend money), being outside, and having a quiet night at home on the couch, those are all things that make me feel better. I have a list of things that I know help me practice self-love, and in that particular evening, those were the things that I chose to do. If you know what you enjoy doing and what makes you feel loved by yourself, then you are one step closer in practicing self-love. You start learning how to take care of yourself and putting your needs first. I have a ‘Self-Love List’ in my Bullet Journal that I can refer back to for some inspiration and I make sure to update it as I discover new things that I enjoy doing and relax me.

{ Tip #3 | Say NO }

As someone who likes to make others happy, this was a tough one for me. I would often do things for others so that they would be happy, but at times, I was sacrificing my own happiness. Don’t get me wrong, don’t say no all the time. But to practice self-love, you need to be aware of your needs and how you are feeling so that in some instances, you are able to say no and not do something so that you can take care of yourself first. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling really tired and drained after a particularly busy weekend (I still haven’t resolved my sleeping issues…). Instead of pushing myself and going to a family dinner, I was able to recognize that I really just need a quiet night at home to get my stuff ready for the week and get some rest. Luckily, I have a very supportive and understanding husband which helps, but I was also able to say no to something that I knew would only make me more tired and stressed for the week ahead. I practiced self-love and decided to take care of myself.

{ Tip #4 | Your Social Network }

Without the support and understanding of my husband, I wouldn’t have been able to say no to a family dinner. It’s so important to surround yourself with people that not only know you (in this case, it was my husband that planted the idea that I shouldn’t come to dinner and he ended up going alone) but will also encourage you to practice self-love. Your support system, including your family and friends, should love you enough to be understanding and encouraging of time where you need to practice self-love.

{ Tip #5 | Self-Talk }

We talked about practice ways to show yourself self-love. There’s also a deeper but less obvious way that we should be practicing self-love, and that’s through how we talk to ourselves. Too often I catch myself being downright mean to myself. Why do we demean ourselves instead of lifting ourselves up and being encouraging? In the family dinner situation, I was on the verge of starting a cycle of negative self-talk: “You’re weak for feeling this way,” “Why the heck are you so tired?! You shouldn’t feel tired and drained,” or even “You’re undeserving of such an understanding husband.” But I was able to quickly control those thoughts and instead practice loving self-talk: “It’s okay, you’re tired, you’ve had a long week and you don’t sleep well, it’s okay that you need to get some rest. You deserve it and your family will understand and still love you.” Learning how to control the inner bitch (yes, she has a name) is the foundation of practicing self-love because she is always going to try and sabotage you.

How do you practice self-love? What are some things that you can do RIGHT NOW to be more loving towards yourself? Share your thoughts and comment, I love hearing from you!

9 Comments

Sahar

I find that the best way to make sure your self-talk is positive is to imagine yourself talking to baby-you. I dare you to be mean to a picture of yourself as a little baby!

Reply
Sepideh

That’s a wonderful tip and one that I’ve tried before but haven’t been consistent with it. Great reminder, thank you Sahar!

Reply
Sepideh

An even more important reminder for you as a Mama! You need to make sure to have me-time and you’ll be a better Mama for it <3

Reply
Sepideh

Thanks Melina! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

Learning how to say no is SO important. I’m also learning how to do say no but then not feeling guilty about it and knowing when I’m putting myself first…it’s a tough balance but very important to find!

Reply
Dana MacAulay (Style Cause)

Love this post , especially the point about “talking to yourself”. I notice that if I am mean to myself I am also likely to be mean to other people and the kinder I am to myself the nicer I am to other people.

Reply
Sepideh

What an interesting observation!!! I’ve noticed the opposite as well – if I’m kinder to others then I tend to be ‘softer’ with myself too!! Thank you for sharing Dana!

Reply

Leave a Reply