{ Why Happiness is a Choice you can Make Right Now }

Why Happiness is a Choice you can Make Right Now

I never thought I would be this happy. And when I mean happy, I mean I’m-going-to-cry-from-happiness. This might silly to some of you, but as someone that went through depression where I felt hopeless and unhappy for a long time, finding happiness has been an incredible feeling. Regardless of whether you’re happy or unhappy right now, I’m here to tell you that you can be happier!

{ What I learned about happiness }

I know that the title of this blogpost might be controversial, especially for those of you that have very challenging life situations. But what I learned from my life experiences and from those around me is that happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a habit of the mind that you can learn to cultivate. I know that it’s easier said than done and that some of you might have really hard life circumstances that are probably harder than what I lived through. However, I still strongly believe that you can find moments of happiness in your life. Once you start nurturing that aspect of your mind, things will become easier. Trust me, because I’ve been there…

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{ What is happiness }

I feel like happiness is a taboo subject because each persons’ definition of what happiness means varies greatly. So if I talk about happiness, someone might not agree with my view what it means or how to achieve it. But I’m not here to debate the definition of happiness, but rather what I did to find happiness in my life, even through hard times.

What you’ll start seeing if you start reading books and articles about happiness is that there is one common thread: how you think, see things, analyze the world, interpret and react to a situation, these will all deeply affect your life experiences and your overall well-being. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all human beings and are bound to have impatient moments or feel frustration, despair and sadness. And that’s okay and totally normal! What counts is how we choose to get out of it and what we CHOOSE to focus on.

Make the conscious decision RIGHT NOW to choose happiness Click To Tweet Why Happiness is a Choice you can Make Right Now

{ Choosing happiness }

And that’s the main point that I want you to take away: happiness is a choice. It sounds crazy and even I would roll my eyes when I saw quotes on Pinterest ‘CHOOSE HAPPY’! – “F*ck off, you don’t know what I’m going through” would be my immediate response.

Happiness is a choice - always choose HAPPY! Click To Tweet

But now, coming out the other end of the dark tunnel, I get it. And it has taken me a while to get here, but I finally understand – happiness is a CHOICE. It’s a mindset. It’s what you choose to interpret a situation. IF something ‘bad’ happens to you for example, if you choose to see it as ‘bad’, then that’s exactly what it will be.

However, if you choose to see a situation as empowering or as a learning opportunity, then it will be easier to accept what happened. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t invalidate or minimize the pain and discomfort of what happened to you. But hopefully with a more positive and empowering meaning that you attach to the situation, the pain won’t be as hard to bare.

To illustrate on a more concrete level, here is an example of something that happened to me recently. It isn’t ‘bad’ per say, but I still want to show you how I initially reacted and how I changed my approach and chose to look at it from a positive perspective instead. This empowered approach has contributed to feeling less disappointed about the situation which ultimately contributes to my happiness.

{ How I chose happiness – an example }

I’m grateful to have a full-time and relatively well paid job. But I’m really not challenged or stimulated in the right way and if I’m honest, I’m quite bored (even though I’m very busy most days). So I’ve been applying to jobs here and there, and I went through a four-stage process for a job I really wanted.

I felt SO confident coming out of the interview – I felt comfortable, confident, excited – I had connected with the panel of interviewers and felt like I had the job. But I didn’t. When I got the refusal, my initial emotions were disappointment, sadness and hopelessness that I wouldn’t find another job in the field that I studied.

It would have been ‘easy’ and my go-to response to let those emotions fester and get me down. However, after an hour, I decided that I didn’t want to feel down. So I started talking to myself differently about the situation so that I could see it differently. Instead of telling myself “You’re stuck in your current job, there’s no hope, you’re going to do a 9-5 job that you dislike for a LONG time so suck it up”, I CHOSE to interpret the rejection as something else. I though to myself, “Maybe the job wasn’t right for me. Maybe I wouldn’t have been happy in that position either. Maybe I’m meant to stay at this job longer because I have some flexibility that allows me to dedicate more time to my blog, which is what I would rather do full-time anyway!”) I also decided to look at it in a more empowering way, as a learning experience: “At least I got good interviewing practice that will be useful in the future!”.

I know that you might feel frustrated or stuck in a situation. But the first step is to decide that you don’t want to feel down or sad about it anymore. Then if you make the conscious decision to interpret whatever has happened differently, you will start to see that there might be a more empowering and positive reason behind it. And maybe you’ll start to find happiness and peace in your life.

Is there currently a situation in your life that you could choose to be happy about (or at least ‘okay’ to start with?)? Have there been situations where you chose to be happy? I’d love to hear your stories and experiences because those are the best times to learn from each other! 

Why Happiness is a Choice you can Make Right Now

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16 Comments

Lucy

Happiness. I’m sitting here reading your blog and thinking to myself and counting how many times I could have chosen happiness but decided not to. So much grief and aggravation, disillusionment and heartache could have been avoided. Most times we seek out the glum feelings because we are accustomed to them, but it’s a nice reminder to always know that there is a second choice… to choose Happy. Thank you!

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Sepideh

Oh Lucy, thank you so much for opening up and being so honest! That takes courage – good for you!!!

I love the point you made – we are accustomed to negative emotions. In a twisted way, they feel comforting and sometimes become the norm. But we need to realize that we should break free from them and that perceived comfort is actually making us more uncomfortable!

Thank you for your thoughtful comment <3

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Krista @ Reroute Lifestyle

Hey babe, I think everyone needs to read this post. Even as a generally happy and positive person, for some reason I’m smiling and I feel totally better about life after reading this. I love your reminders to always choose HAPPY (like, that’s a great way to put it, you need to coin that) because that’s what we need to do in life!

xoxo,
Krista
http://reroutelifestyle.com

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Sepideh

Thank you for your encouraging words Krista! I really appreciate that <3

And that makes me SO happy to hear that my blogpost helped YOU smile!!! YAY!

XO

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Gillian

Excellent post. I appreciate that you give an example of a very distressing situation and how you dealt it. Sometime ago I decided that I choose joy.

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Sepideh

I’m glad my example helped Gillian! And wonderful to hear that you were able to choose joy in your life – continue doing it and your happiness will grow exponentially!

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Elizabeth Seal

This is such an amazing article, I love how you wrote that we have total freedom over the way we see things and when we utilise that freedom it can help us so much 😀 but sometimes, there is just no way out to happiness. I had awful mood swings and on a down spell, I would feel grateful for every event, every opportunity, every lesson and know that I had a wonderful life and yet I couldn’t feel anything, nothing could make me happy, I felt so numb inside. I’m so happy I don’t feel like that now and I am learning to feel again! I love your blog, can’t wait to read more 😀 xx

elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara
(lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)

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Sepideh

Thank you for your support Elizabeth, and thank you for sharing something so sensitive <3

I think that there are times where it's very challenging to find happiness and it can be related to your hormones or something chemical going on in your body. What's helped me is to know that it WILL get better and to remember that I was happy so I know that I will be happy again and to just hang on and spend a bit of time taking care of myself and doing things that make me feel better in the moment.

I'm happy to hear that you feel better and feel happier - keep doing what you're doing to grow that positive feeling inside! XO

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Sahar

The best part about choosing happiness is that it keeps up in a positive frame of mind and allows us to work on achieving joy–in itself the most powerful motivating factor to contribute to the betterment of the world even in the face of the deluge of bad news that seems to surround us.

http://www.saharsblog.com

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Teresa

I couldn’t agree more. A few years ago I was struggling with finding happiness, until the moment I decided I was going to CHOOSE joy every single day. I look for the positive and I’m a happier, better person for it.

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Nicole Kleiss

I have a work story too. It’s not my job that could cause unhappiness its one of my coworkers. Shes just a downer. There’s always something wrong. And to make it worse she cant just keep her bad mood to herself. It seems as though she wants to bring you down with her. I have to repeat in my head over and over that I am going to “choose joy” which is kinda sad. I wish I could show her this without offending her because she needs it more than you could even know. Just know you at least have helped me 🙂
XO

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Sepideh

Ohhhh Nicole, thank you so much sharing!!!!

Other people’s happiness and energy affect me as well, especially when they also feel the need to spread the negative energy. If you remind yourself that it’s something that they’re going through and they don’t have the tools to deal with it, it will help you sympathize and hopefully move on passed it.

When it comes to helping someone else, I think they need to have an open ear and an open hear to hear any advice that you have. But if you live by example and continue to work on YOU and your happiness, then maybe it will inspire her and she’ll ask you one day how YOU do it!!

Keep your chin up girl, I know it can be hard to be around that at work <3

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Luci

For me it still is hard to feel happiness at times. Even if everything going right, it still can be difficult. Part of it has to do with my personality and the other part has to deal with my depression. I finally have found something that can help lift my mood.

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Sepideh

My dearest Luci, I know how you feel – I’ve been there and it’s very challenging. As long as you’r getting the help you need, just remember that you’re not alone in how you’re feeling and that things get better. Trust me. They really do. Find little things here and there that help you in the meantime while you’re able to manage the depression and get out of it. Send me in a email if you need someone to talk to… <3

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