Are you constantly struggling to get through your to-do list and feel like you don’t have enough energy and focus to slay your goals? That’s because you’re not asking yourself the right question. Find out the ONE question you need to ask yourself on a daily basis so that you can start living the life of your dreams and ultimately become the best version of yourself.
Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe that to my core.
I was recently faced with a relatively big career decision and I struggled with it…a LOT. Instead of being grateful that an opportunity was knocking at my door, I thought to myself “Why? Why is this coming up NOW? I can’t handle it!”
It was a confusing place to be in because this was an opportunity that I had been waiting for 3 years for, but when it came down to it, I didn’t know if I wanted it anymore. I didn’t know whether it aligned with my long-term goals. I had romanticized the idea of this new job but when I was faced with the reality of the day-to-day, I didn’t know if it was aligned with the person that I was anymore.
Yes, the job was more meaningful work than the job that I’m doing right now, but the hours were long (50-60 hour weeks) and the job was emotionally demanding. This meant that I would have less energy for myself, for my marriage, let alone for my blog.
I felt confused and completely overwhelmed. I didn’t know how to make a decision. I let myself be taken over my debilitating thoughts and emotions while limiting beliefs started creeping in: “What if the blog doesn’t work, I need a plan B… What if I don’t have ANY other opportunities like this if I wanted it in the future? What if I regret turning down this opportunity?”If you’re struggling with an important decision in life right now, find out the ONE question you need to ask yourself to help you figure out the right decision Click To Tweet
I was psyching myself out and was stressed out for almost two weeks to make a decision.
For what? For a job that I might or might not want. For an opportunity that might appear like the one I’d been looking for but maybe wasn’t the right fit for me…at least not right now?
Bottom line was that I wasn’t struggling with the actual decision itself, but I was struggling with my own beliefs. The beliefs about myself and what I’m capable of. The beliefs about my future and whether I’d be able to achieve my business goals. And beliefs about what I ‘should’ be doing vs. what I want to be doing (i.e. moving up and taking the promotion).
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The powerful question I asked myself
One of the things that I did to figure out what to do was to take a step back and instead of asking myself “What should I DO” I asked myself a more empowering and inspiring question.
I asked myself: Who do I want to BE?
In a world where we’re constantly on the go and we’re doing-doing-doing, it’s easy to forget that we are actually human BEINGS. Beyond our to-do lists and what we’re doing, we need to remember who we want to BE.
And asking myself that question was the turning point because it gave me perspective about the situation, the job offer, and the vision that I have for my life, but more importantly, about the type of person that I want to be and what I need to do to be that person.The one question you need to ask yourself to give you clarity and perspective in any situation Click To Tweet
It helped put things in perspective and figure out: Is this opportunity the right timing? Will this new job help me become the person that I want to be? Or will it distract me from working on myself and building the person that I want to become?
I didn’t focus anymore on the logistics and the practical aspect of the new job anymore. I took a step back and took a look at the bigger picture.
Asking yourself, who do I want to be? What dominant emotions do I want to feel on a daily and weekly basis? How do I want to feel every day when I wake up?
Those questions are even more important than asking yourself questions like: What do I want to achieve?
Even though I encourage you to ask yourself questions about what you want to accomplish in life, that comes in the next phase. Start with asking yourself “Who do I want to be” is more intuitive, inspiring and empowering and will help you answer the more concrete and practical questions that you will need to figure out at a later stage.
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My challenge to you
So I challenge you: the next time a hard decision comes up, instead of thinking about what you should do and what your next step should be, asking yourself this fundamentally important question that we should be re-visiting on a continuous basis:
- Who do I want to be? As an individual, as a human being, as a sister/mother/daughter/friend/wife.
- What emotions do I want to feel?
- What dominant emotions do I want to experience more?
- How do I want to experience life?
- How do I want to feel when I wake up in the morning?
After I asked myself this one powerful question, this is the thought process that happened.
I want to feel HAPPY, every single day. And for me to be happy, I need to have time for myself, for my blog, for self-care (gym, eating healthy which means meal prep and cooking at home). I need time with my husband, with my family, with my friends. I don’t like rushing to do things and time is precious to me.
I also want to be inspired and connected. And I feel that way when I help people and connect with them. I want to make others happy, inspired and empowered. How do I do that? By being the best version of myself.
When I feel balanced and centred (which I need to have time to do all the things mentioned in the above paragraph), then I can be a better person, a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend.
Through those thoughts, I realized that I had been thinking about the situation from the wrong perspective. I had been focusing on what I expected myself to do. What I thought I should be doing when I was younger, because I went to school to get a degree to get a certain job and have a certain level of stability.
But in reality, I’ve changed since then. I’ve become a different person with different aspirations and a different vision for my life. And having a 9-5 job doesn’t align with that vision anymore. I have bigger dreams and goals for myself, for my marriage and for my life.
Will this new job help me achieve that vision?
No, it wouldn’t. And asking myself that ONE powerful question helped me reach a crystal clear decision that I’m at peace with.
The next time you sit down to set goals or need to make an important decision, start by asking yourself, in the same order, these three questions.
I guarantee that asking yourself these questions, starting with “Who do I want to be?” will be the most inspiring and empowering question that you will ever ask yourself because it will create a stronger and clearer image of what you need to do in life to become that person.
- Who do I want to be (narrow it down to 3)
- What needs to happen for me to become that person
- What do I need to do to become that person
So tell me, who do YOU want to be?