Even though I’m not sure how many of you read these monthly goal blogposts, it’s a great way for me to stay accountable to myself and make sure that I consistently set my goals each month. I can then look back at my Bullet Journal and my blog to see that I’ve put time and effort into setting my intentions for the months and setting myself up for success to reach my goals for the year.

Even though I share my monthly goals in this series, I also want to hear from you. I’m curious to know: do you enjoy these blogposts? Do they motivate you to set monthly goals? Or do you not set monthly goals because you don’t see the benefits? Or maybe you don’t even know how to set goals? Basically I want to hear from YOU! I want to know what topics interests you or what you want to read more about so that I can create the content for you and help you in your journey, whatever your goals might be!

Alright, let’s get into it. For the month of September, I decided to streamline my goals a bit because August was challenging (I was sick for over two weeks because I’ve been pushing myself and doing too much) so I wanted to show myself some self-love. I’m also anticipating a busy month ahead with a trip to Mexico with my hubby, mother-in-law and Mom, and then my sisters’ birthdays (they share their birthday but are 8 years apart!). So I want to be realistic about my goals for this month so that I can slay the goals I do set for myself!

Set yourself up for success : set REALISTIC goals!
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{ Blog goals }

I’ve been happy with how things have been going on the blog but I want to step it up a notch (or 10).I have a few projects and ideas in mind that I really want to dedicate more time to and I’m grateful that I have a supportive hubby that has a lot of experience in business and marketing that has been helping me.

So my main blog goal for September is to….. register Elle is for Love as business!! Say WHAT?! Little Seppy a business owner?! That makes me laugh because never in a million years did I think that I would EVER be a business owner let alone an entrepreneur that has a million and one ideas about what I want to create with Elle is for Love. It’s exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time but I’m so passionate about this blog that I really want to dedicate the time and attention and love that it deserves. But most importantly, I want to invest in myself and my dreams!

When it comes to your goals, #DreamBig and reach for the stars
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* How exciting, I procrastinated on writing this blogpost and now that I’m writing it, the creative juices are flowing and I’m getting myself pumped for my own goals haha

{ Self-love goals }

You know I had to include some self-lovin’ up in here. I feel like August was a big turning point for me on an emotional level because I feel so much more at peace and happier. There are moments where I get emotional and have tears because I am so darn happy. I had a rough patch in my early twenties and suffered from PTSD because of it and I’m finally getting to a place where I’m able to move on from a lot of those negative emotions and it feels incredibly liberating.

With that being said, I’m going to continue to be mindful about self-love this month, especially considering how sick and exhausted I was last month. So this includes starting my day with morning stretches and deep breaths, going back to the gym 4-5 times per week and pushing myself with my fitness goals (I want to be able to do 5 chin-ups and 10 FULL push-ups by the end of the year!). I also want to continue on a new eating habits/lifestyle that I started after the cleanse that I’m utterly obsessed with (more on that to come next week because it’s been LIFE-CHANGING).

{ Fun goals }

Oh goodness, it’s going to be a fun month. It was my friend’s birthday yesterday so we celebrated her at work, and tomorrow I’m going to a bootcamp class and dinner with her which will be very fun (we’re always laughing when we’re together. My 4 year old self comes out when I’m with her and I absolutely love it). And Friday we’re going out for her birthday which will be VERY fun! It’s always amazing when you make lifestyle friends at work and I’ve been lucky in that department.

This month, I also want to FINALLY organize my girls’ night because there are a few close friends that I haven’t seen for ages and I miss them a lot. Because I don’t have time to do one-on-ones all the time, this will be a fun way to see everyone at the same time, even if it won’t be a full catch-up with each of them.

And like I mentioned before, I’m off to Mexico next week with the hubby and the two Mommies which will be VERY fun! I can’t wait to be able to spend time with my two Moms. And then one week after we come back, it’ll be my sisters’ birthdays so lots of stuff planned around that!!

So there you have it! My monthly goals for September. I really want to know what your goals are for the month and how I can help you in your goals.

Leave questions and comments below and as always, you can get in touch with me on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook – I want to hear from you! I love connecting with others and learning from each other and hearing your stories. That’s the best part of blogging!

The post { Monthly Goals | September Goals } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

{ What I learned about happiness }

I know that the title of this blogpost might be controversial, especially for those of you that have very challenging life situations. But what I learned from my life experiences and from those around me is that happiness is a state of mind. Happiness is a habit of the mind that you can learn to cultivate. I know that it’s easier said than done and that some of you might have really hard life circumstances that are probably harder than what I lived through. However, I still strongly believe that you can find moments of happiness in your life. Once you start nurturing that aspect of your mind, things will become easier. Trust me, because I’ve been there…

Happiness is a habit that you can learn to cultivate
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{ What is happiness }

I feel like happiness is a taboo subject because each persons’ definition of what happiness means varies greatly. So if I talk about happiness, someone might not agree with my view what it means or how to achieve it. But I’m not here to debate the definition of happiness, but rather what I did to find happiness in my life, even through hard times.

What you’ll start seeing if you start reading books and articles about happiness is that there is one common thread: how you think, see things, analyze the world, interpret and react to a situation, these will all deeply affect your life experiences and your overall well-being. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all human beings and are bound to have impatient moments or feel frustration, despair and sadness. And that’s okay and totally normal! What counts is how we choose to get out of it and what we CHOOSE to focus on.

Make the conscious decision RIGHT NOW to choose happiness
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{ Choosing happiness }

And that’s the main point that I want you to take away: happiness is a choice. It sounds crazy and even I would roll my eyes when I saw quotes on Pinterest ‘CHOOSE HAPPY’! – “F*ck off, you don’t know what I’m going through” would be my immediate response.

Happiness is a choice - always choose HAPPY!
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But now, coming out the other end of the dark tunnel, I get it. And it has taken me a while to get here, but I finally understand – happiness is a CHOICE. It’s a mindset. It’s what you choose to interpret a situation. IF something ‘bad’ happens to you for example, if you choose to see it as ‘bad’, then that’s exactly what it will be.

However, if you choose to see a situation as empowering or as a learning opportunity, then it will be easier to accept what happened. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t invalidate or minimize the pain and discomfort of what happened to you. But hopefully with a more positive and empowering meaning that you attach to the situation, the pain won’t be as hard to bare.

To illustrate on a more concrete level, here is an example of something that happened to me recently. It isn’t ‘bad’ per say, but I still want to show you how I initially reacted and how I changed my approach and chose to look at it from a positive perspective instead. This empowered approach has contributed to feeling less disappointed about the situation which ultimately contributes to my happiness.

{ How I chose happiness – an example }

I’m grateful to have a full-time and relatively well paid job. But I’m really not challenged or stimulated in the right way and if I’m honest, I’m quite bored (even though I’m very busy most days). So I’ve been applying to jobs here and there, and I went through a four-stage process for a job I really wanted.

I felt SO confident coming out of the interview – I felt comfortable, confident, excited – I had connected with the panel of interviewers and felt like I had the job. But I didn’t. When I got the refusal, my initial emotions were disappointment, sadness and hopelessness that I wouldn’t find another job in the field that I studied.

It would have been ‘easy’ and my go-to response to let those emotions fester and get me down. However, after an hour, I decided that I didn’t want to feel down. So I started talking to myself differently about the situation so that I could see it differently. Instead of telling myself “You’re stuck in your current job, there’s no hope, you’re going to do a 9-5 job that you dislike for a LONG time so suck it up”, I CHOSE to interpret the rejection as something else. I though to myself, “Maybe the job wasn’t right for me. Maybe I wouldn’t have been happy in that position either. Maybe I’m meant to stay at this job longer because I have some flexibility that allows me to dedicate more time to my blog, which is what I would rather do full-time anyway!”) I also decided to look at it in a more empowering way, as a learning experience: “At least I got good interviewing practice that will be useful in the future!”.

I know that you might feel frustrated or stuck in a situation. But the first step is to decide that you don’t want to feel down or sad about it anymore. Then if you make the conscious decision to interpret whatever has happened differently, you will start to see that there might be a more empowering and positive reason behind it. And maybe you’ll start to find happiness and peace in your life.

Is there currently a situation in your life that you could choose to be happy about (or at least ‘okay’ to start with?)? Have there been situations where you chose to be happy? I’d love to hear your stories and experiences because those are the best times to learn from each other! 

The post { Why Happiness is a Choice you can Make Right Now } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

To give you a bit of context, I’ve been dealing with anxiety for years where I felt like I was wasting so much time and energy on managing my emotions. I felt like I was never in control of my reactions and seemingly little things would trigger me in a tailspin that would sometimes ruin my whole day and even my whole weekend. When I finally decided that enough is enough, I was constantly trying to learn tips on how to master my emotions to manage my anxiety better and feel more in control of my reactions. Here are the 3 steps that I go through when something happens and I can sense that I’m having a strong emotional reaction to it. These steps help me process through the emotions to get to a point where I am able to let it go and move on (most of the time…).

{ Step 1 : Accept the emotion }

It sounds cliche but it really starts with acceptance. Be aware of moments where you’re having a strong emotional reaction to a situation or a person. Be honest with yourself and conscious that you’re having a strong reaction. Don’t overthink it just yet, that will come later. Start with being aware of your emotions and then be kind and patient with yourself, you are human and emotions are part of the human experience. You can learn from it because emotions are there to tell our brain a message (i.e. be careful, protect yourself etc.). Once you’re conscious of the emotions that you’re experiencing, you need to accept that you are feeling this way right now. It might be unpleasant and uncomfortable to feel angry for example, but guess what? That’s just how you feel right now, so just let it be. Accept it. It is what it is. You are feeling this way right now and it’s okay, you will eventually feel better.

{ Step 2 : Understand it the emotion }

When you have taken a step back and allowed yourself to feel and accept the emotion, it’s time to try and understand where it comes from. This requires more effort and energy because you need to really dig deep and ask yourself questions. Again, it might feel uncomfortable and unnatural, but push through. Trust me, the effort will pay off! To start, figure out the emotions you are feeling (i.e. anger, sadness, frustration, impatience etc.) Then, ask yourself questions about what triggered it, what situation or person might have instigated that particular emotion? Why are you feeling this way? Has there been other occasions where you have felt this way? Do you remember why? Understanding yourself is an important step in learning how you react to people and situations so that you can be better prepared next time.

{ Step 3 : Deal with it }

Depending on the situation, you will need to handle it differently. You might need to respond to it in an ‘external’ way by confronting someone about their behaviour for example, or communicating with a friend that their comment hurt your feelings for whatever reason. You might need to respond to the situation in an ‘internal’ way by working on yourself for example and developing your patience or compassion so that you’re able to manage a future interaction with them. Whatever the solution is, take a step towards ‘resolving it’ so that you can put the emotion aside, even if that means it’s something that you have to work on inside yourself.

The moment you become more aware of your emotions and reactions, it will be easier to manage them. With time, you will find that you are more and more in touch with your emotions and can even predict a reaction and will be able to prepare yourself to minimize the negative outcome.

It’s also important to remember that we’re all humans and we will never be fully in control of our emotions all the time. There will be times where you will get impatient, frustrated or just plain angry. And that’s okay. The important part is to learn from it and to grow so that the next time, you can do a bit better. You can be a bit less impatient. You can get over it faster. You can understand your reaction better. It’s all about making the effort to learn from a situation without the expectation that it won’t happen again, because most likely it will, but maybe the frequency will go down.

I know that these might seem general concepts so if you have specific situations that you need help with, send me an email and maybe I can help you work through it! What are some emotions that you struggle with and that you’re not sure you understand? I know this might be a personal question but when you start opening up, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of growing and even connection with someone who has gone or is going to the same experience. Share your thoughts and experiences with everyone! 

The post { How to Master your Emotions in 3 Steps } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

{ Brainstorm and dream big }

My husband has taught me that in life, you can do anything you set your mind to. My new philosophy in life is ‘dream big’. Nothing is out of reach, you just have to work for it and find a way to get to it. With that being said, I want you to do the same. Sit down with a pen and paper (or on your computer, whichever you prefer) and DREAM big. Write down everything and anything you want in life. From material things like owning a yacht or non-material things like being patient or learning a new language. Anything goes, there are no limits. Don’t stop yourself and push the boundaries. Write everything that comes to mind and don’t stop until you can’t come up with anything else. Get some inspiration on social media or the internet and keep dreaming up your biggest ideas. The sky is the limit.

{ Pick your top three }

Now that you have a list of cray and fun things you’d like in your life, go through it again and pick out the top three. These have to be the goals that make you feel excited and jittery inside. I want you to get really excited when you think about these top three goals. Again, it doesn’t matter how crazy they might seem, just pick the ones that make you smile and get you excited.

{ Be specific } 

Elaborate your top three goals. Spend AT LEAST 10-15 minutes on each of the goals and describe them in as much detail as you can. Describe the colours, the sensations, the emotions, the feelings, the time and place, the amount, the value, what you can do with it… be as specific and detailed as possible because we want you to be able to visualize your goals clearly in your mind. The clearer the image is, the easier it will be to reach it. Once you know your final destination, finding the path to it will be more simple.

{ Determine the steps } 

Now that you know exactly what you want, we need to break it down further. Figure out a timeline and steps that you need to take towards each of your goals. You might need to do a bit of research but this is the part where you come up with a clear step-by-step plan of everything you need to do and learn to reach your goal. Don’t get overwhelmed, take it one goal at a time, do a bit of research and you will find the answer. And sometimes we know what we’re supposed to do and not do but we don’t. So if we plan for it and we know what we need to accomplish every week, then it will be easier to follow through because then you have a specific timeline. Again, you have to be specific (i.e. drink 2-L of water every day) and then fin d away to help you stick to it (i.e. get a 2-L water bottle that you can carry around with you and set a reminder on your phone every hour to drink a bit of it).

{ Re-assess }

Re-visit your plan and timeline as often as possible (I do it on a weekly basis) to track your progress and to see if you need to re-adjust. If a specific approach wasn’t working, then you need to find another way (i.e. you didn’t take your 2-L water bottle with you because it was too heavy, then maybe you need to get a smaller bottle but still do the reminder so that you drink enough throughout the day). Constant re-assessment of your goals will ensure that you stay on track until the end.

{ Be consistent }

You have to make consistent efforts towards your goals. Every single day, try to do something towards your goals, even if it’s something small, the efforts will add up to your final destination. I recognize that this is something that many struggle with, but that’s why it’s important to choose goals that are motivating enough for you to wake up in the morning thinking about you can do today to get one step closer to achieving it.

What are some crazy goals you’d like to achieve? What’s something you can do right now to work towards your goals? Share your thoughts and comments, I’d love to hear about your goals are and maybe you can find some inspiration and support through the community to reach your goals!

The post { How to Set Goals in 5 Easy Steps } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

With that being said, I think I will continue these blogposts for now, because it also keeps me accountable because I have one added reason to sit and think about my monthly goals because I need to put out a blogpost. I’m also being 100% honest about what I’m putting in there, so I really can’t lie to myself about what I need to work on this month! I think that even if ONE of you is inspired to set goals, I’ll be happy, because it can have a ripple effect in the life of that person.

Now let’s get into it. What are my monthly goals for August? Well, after a productive month of July, I’m going to re-focus my energies on taking care of myself because July showed me how much more energy and joie de vivre I have when I listen to myself and my body. I’m happy to say that the quality of my sleep has gotten better! But I need to make it even more restful, OR sleep more, because I’m sleeping only 6-7 hours per night, and I usually need 8 hours to feel rested. So by Friday, I’m a bit of a zombie. I also got off track with my mindful eating, but last week and this week (so far!) I feel better about it so I just have to keep at it on that front. I still haven’t reached my health and fitness goals and I’m trying to remind myself to be patient and that progress takes time, but every effort counts.

August will be an exciting month – for the ‘fun’ category, we’re traveling to Niagara Falls this weekend, we’re going to One Republic show next week (my favourite band EVER!), and at the end of the month, we’re celebrating our one year wedding anniversary! I can’t believe it’s been one year!! We still need to plan what we’ll be doing but I already have ideas of a few wedding/marriage/relationship related blogposts that I’m excited to share with you the week leading up to our anniversary on August 27th.

I’ve also been happy with how things have been going with the blog and my time management so I want to make sure to keep that up. I also want to amp up the quality of the content I’m putting out, maybe starting up my YouTube channel again by brainstorming a few video ideas. So if you have any suggestions of subjects you’d like to see on the blog or my YouTube channel, I’m all ears!!

How was your month of July? What’s one thing you accomplished that you’re proud of? What’s one thing you’re looking forward to in August? What’s one goal you can set for yourself for the month of August but more importantly, HOW will you achieve it?? Share your thoughts and ideas in the comment section below! I always love hearing from you!

The post { Monthly Goals | August } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

There’s a strong sense of pride when you check off a goal that you set for yourself because it means that you were able to push through and achieve something that you really wanted. This feeling makes me happy and contributes to my well-being and my sense of self-confidence. Achieving a goal empowers you to want to achieve more, raise your standards and set higher goals. It’s an addictive feeling. If you’re not convinced yet, here are four reasons why you should set monthly goals. I promise, you won’t regret it. Keep in mind that like anything else, goal-setting is a habit that you have to develop and you must do it consistently for it to stick. But once setting goals becomes a part of your habit, you won’t be able to NOT do it!

{ I’m trying the different ways to set up my monthly goals in my Bullet Journal but I like to have specific categories. I look at this page regularly, especially when I’m planning my week to make sure that I’m taking action towards each of these goals every week. }

{ It gives you direction & purpose }

Like I mentioned before, invest a bit of time into figuring out what your overall goals are. Keep in mind that your goals will change over time and that’s normal because they shift as you grow up and your life circumstances change. Once you have your general goals, you can break it down into monthly goals, which will help you have direction and purpose. For example, if you know that you want to achieve a certain level of fitness, or if you want to build a business, then you know that there are logical steps to follow to reach that goal. If you know the end result, then it’s easier to figure out the steps you need to take. Setting monthly goals will give you direction and purpose on what you need to do, learn, achieve, gather, create, develop during those 4 weeks. And then at the end of the month, you can look back and see what you worked and what didn’t, and how you can change your course for the next month to make sure that you are getting closer and closer to achieving your end goal!

{ Helps you in your day-to-day decisions }

This is closely related to the previous point but I still wanted to make a separate point about it because it’s very important in the goal-setting process. Once you know your goals and what you need to do to achieve them, you will then be able to make wiser and more conscious decisions on a day-to-day basis. For example, if you have fitness goals, then every day, you will make wiser and better decisions on what you eat and how much you move. Every day, you will be aware that what you choose to eat and how much time and effort you dedicate to exercising will bring you closer or farther away from achieving your final goal. When you are clear on the goals you want to achieve, it will be easier to make day-to-day decisions that you might not have been conscious about before.

{ Habits are the foundation of who you are and who you are going to become. I’m trying to create healthy habits to take care of myself so having a habit tracker every month is important because these habits will ‘support’ my goals }

{ Making the most out of life }

I’ve always been very aware of my surroundings, experiences and emotions. One thing that I hate (and I don’t use the word ‘hate’ loosely) is to waste time, which sometimes comes to bite me in the ass but that’s a whole other topic. However, what this consciousness has given me is that I want to make the most out of life. I want to enjoy every day and discover as much as I can. What that means in the context of goals is that I have taken a lot of time to think about what makes me the happy and I have made a clear plan and a conscious day-to-day effort to work towards those goals. This gives me a sense of purpose and drive and I feel like I’m enjoying life but also making the most of the time that I have while I’m living and breathing! This might sound dark in some ways but honestly, it isn’t! Not to get too spiritual on you but we were put on this Earth for a purpose. Find your purpose and DO IT! Every day, work towards it. Become better, stronger, wiser than you were yesterday. Make the most out of life, because there is so much to discover in the world and you don’t want to miss out! (Okay, motivational speech over…for now!).

{ Challenge yourself }

One thing that gives me a lot of joy is pushing and challenging myself in uncomfortable situations, because those are the times where my growth is exponential. I used to always choose the safe route and be comfortable, until I realized I was uncomfortable in my comfort (wow, deep shit right there). What I mean is that I began to live in a space where I wasn’t challenging myself, I was staying within specific boundaries and life became routine and mundane. That’s not a way to go through life! Until I woke up and realized…I can achieve anything I want to accomplish. And I have to give credit to my hubby for this mentality because I’ve seen him over and over again dreaming up the craziest shit and then actually achieving it!! He never settles for anything and always challenges himself to think big and he has been able to accomplish whatever he has dreamed up so far. It’s very inspiring to see that when it’s close proximity, so I’m hoping that my words are reaching out to you through your screen and that you are able to feel the sense of urgency that I’m trying to convey. Don’t waste another moment – challenge yourself to dream up your biggest goal, get uncomfortable and #JUSTDOIT! It won’t always be easy, but stay focused on the outcome you want to achieve and trust me, you will surprise yourself. You will grow as an individual, become stronger with every step you take and you will discover things about yourself and the world that you could never have even imagined!!

Wow, I feel out of breath. But this is the reason why I blog. I want to inspire and empower each and every one you to take control over your lives, dream big, and achieve the things that you want to achieve. Even though I haven’t achieved half the things that I have set out for myself, I was still able to accomplish a few things that I’m proud of. When I choose topics to write about on Elle is for Love, I try to share something useful and hopefully inspiring. When I share my monthly goals, it isn’t just about what my goals are. The purpose behind that series is to give you inspiration with goals that you can set for yourself, but also to show you that consistency, patience and ‘dreaming big’ will get you to where you want to be.

What are some CRAZY goals that you would like to achieve? What’s ONE thing you can do RIGHT NOW to work towards that goal?? Share your thoughts with everyone, I’d love to hear what goals you’d like to achieve, someone out there might be able to help you achieve it, or I might be able to offer some advice on steps to take to get to your goal!! And don’t forget, #DREAMBIG.

{ My most recent set up for my goals and I like that it’s a simplified overview of my goals for the month of July. It looks like a brain map! }

{ Once my monthly goals are set, I organize my week . In this set up, I have a meal plan and my workouts set out clearly so that I can reach my fitness goals! }

The post { 4 Reasons Why you Should Set Goals } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

For July, I simplified my goals a little to make it more manageable and attainable. There’s nothing worse than setting unrealistic expectations and then being hard on yourself for not achieving what you had initially set out. It’s important to remember that every step is important, however small it might feel, because in the end, your efforts are cumulative and will eventually lead you to achieving your goals. Consistency is key!

{ Blog Goal : Purpose }
With some help from my friend Sheila, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and I’ve been refining the mission statement of Elle is for Love. I want to continue that exercise and then work on improving my about page so that the purpose of the blog is clear for both my readers and for myself, which will help in creating engaging and amazing content for you guys!

{ Health Goal : Increase energy levels }
My sleep has slowly been improving but I need to be more disciplined about my nighttime routine. For some reason, I haven’t been able to stay consistent so I really need to tackle that this month. If something isn’t working and you’re not disciplined about it, there’s usually a reason for it (maybe it’s too overwhelming? It isn’t effective? Or maybe you need to #justdoit). For me, I know what I need to be doing to improve my sleep so I just need to bite the bullet and do it, but also stay patient because the results won’t be immediate.

{ Fun Goal : Socializing }
I’ve been meaning to organize a girl’s night for months but there always seems to be something going on. I’m going to sit down and look at my schedule and save a date because I love having evenings at home with my friends, laughing and playing games. I love having people over, it adds a positive energy to our home and I want to do that more often.

{ Self-Love Goal : Move night }
The same way that I love having friends over, I also love having a fun evening to myself with some pampering, some popcorn and a good movie. My hubby’s close friend will be staying with us for a week or so, which means that I have plenty of free time while they do their own thing, so I’m going to take advantage and organize a fun Seppy-evening.

{ Romance Goal : Quality Time }
We’re headed to LA next weekend!! Between my hubby’s work, starting his MBA and his friend visiting, and my grandfather being in the hospital, going to the gym 4 times per week and preparing for the 5K marathon, we’ve had a lot of to prepare and organize, so I’m looking forward to another weekend getaway. Although we’ve had a few nice quiet evenings at home where we’re both getting work done, it’s important to also set time aside where you can talk and really soak in each other’s company. I’m lucky that my hubby is very conscious of giving me attention, so I’m excited for LA where we get to spend a few days in a row together!

What’s one goal you would like to accomplish this month? What’s one action you can take RIGHT NOW towards reaching that goal? Act immediately to gain momentum towards achieving your dreams and goals, it just starts with taking the first step! This series is meant to inspire you to set goals as well because I’ve seen the benefits of working consistently towards specific goals.

The post { Monthly Goals | July } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

A lot of us struggle with self-love for many reasons – upbringing, past experiences, what we have seen around us, how others have treated us… but what I’ve learned is that all of that doesn’t matter anymore. Even though I’m the type of person that needs to understand the ‘why’ behind something, the more important part to focus on is ‘how’ – how do you practice self-love? How do you learn to love yourself? It takes a bit of mental work, but trust me, if I can learn how to love myself, so can you! So here are my tips on how to practice self-love which I’ve done pretty consistently and have helped a lot!

{ Tip #1 | Me-Time }

Last week, I was feeling really anxious and tired and I could feel like I was reaching my limit and I knew I desperately needed some me-time. When you acknowledge that you are an individual and that you have needs that must be taken care of, you are practicing self-love. If your sister or friend was feeling run down, what advice would you give them? To push through and keep on going, or take a time out and take care of themselves? So that’s exactly what I did for myself: I went to the gym (another way that I practice self-love!), went window shopping alone and enjoyed the beautiful weather, bought myself a healthy and delicious take-out dinner and went home to plop myself on the couch and turned Netflix on. I made the conscious decision that I wasn’t going to do anything that I didn’t feel like doing. I didn’t post on Instagram, I didn’t scroll through Twitter or Facebook – I just sat and watched Jane the Virgin (which, I’m SO late in the game but WOW I was instantly hooked!). And guess what? By the end of the evening, when my hubby came home from work, I was in a good mood, back to my laughing and teasing self. I almost couldn’t remember why I had been feeling anxious, like the stuff didn’t matter anymore. I had some me-time, did something for me, and in the end, I felt better.

{ Tip #2 | Know Yourself }

The previous tip wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t know what I enjoy doing and what relaxes me. I know that a good sweat session, a bit of shopping (without having to necessarily spend money), being outside, and having a quiet night at home on the couch, those are all things that make me feel better. I have a list of things that I know help me practice self-love, and in that particular evening, those were the things that I chose to do. If you know what you enjoy doing and what makes you feel loved by yourself, then you are one step closer in practicing self-love. You start learning how to take care of yourself and putting your needs first. I have a ‘Self-Love List’ in my Bullet Journal that I can refer back to for some inspiration and I make sure to update it as I discover new things that I enjoy doing and relax me.

{ Tip #3 | Say NO }

As someone who likes to make others happy, this was a tough one for me. I would often do things for others so that they would be happy, but at times, I was sacrificing my own happiness. Don’t get me wrong, don’t say no all the time. But to practice self-love, you need to be aware of your needs and how you are feeling so that in some instances, you are able to say no and not do something so that you can take care of yourself first. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was feeling really tired and drained after a particularly busy weekend (I still haven’t resolved my sleeping issues…). Instead of pushing myself and going to a family dinner, I was able to recognize that I really just need a quiet night at home to get my stuff ready for the week and get some rest. Luckily, I have a very supportive and understanding husband which helps, but I was also able to say no to something that I knew would only make me more tired and stressed for the week ahead. I practiced self-love and decided to take care of myself.

{ Tip #4 | Your Social Network }

Without the support and understanding of my husband, I wouldn’t have been able to say no to a family dinner. It’s so important to surround yourself with people that not only know you (in this case, it was my husband that planted the idea that I shouldn’t come to dinner and he ended up going alone) but will also encourage you to practice self-love. Your support system, including your family and friends, should love you enough to be understanding and encouraging of time where you need to practice self-love.

{ Tip #5 | Self-Talk }

We talked about practice ways to show yourself self-love. There’s also a deeper but less obvious way that we should be practicing self-love, and that’s through how we talk to ourselves. Too often I catch myself being downright mean to myself. Why do we demean ourselves instead of lifting ourselves up and being encouraging? In the family dinner situation, I was on the verge of starting a cycle of negative self-talk: “You’re weak for feeling this way,” “Why the heck are you so tired?! You shouldn’t feel tired and drained,” or even “You’re undeserving of such an understanding husband.” But I was able to quickly control those thoughts and instead practice loving self-talk: “It’s okay, you’re tired, you’ve had a long week and you don’t sleep well, it’s okay that you need to get some rest. You deserve it and your family will understand and still love you.” Learning how to control the inner bitch (yes, she has a name) is the foundation of practicing self-love because she is always going to try and sabotage you.

How do you practice self-love? What are some things that you can do RIGHT NOW to be more loving towards yourself? Share your thoughts and comment, I love hearing from you!

The post { 5 Ways to Practice Self-Love } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

Each of us have already written our own stories in our minds. Our experiences and path has influenced how we choose to talk to ourselves, about ourselves, and how we decide to be and see the world. Without realizing it, we have established boundaries for ourselves for what we consider appropriate and not, and what is ‘me’ or not. We set labels on ourselves which often limits our decisions and life choices.

Now this might sound grandiose and complex, but it really isn’t. For example, you can label yourself as a vegetarian or vegan, therefore your eating habits will be specific to that decision: won’t eat certain types of foods. Or you might label your fashion style as something specific so when you go shopping, you won’t even bother looking at some stores or styles of clothing because you tell yourself, ”it’s not my style” or “I can’t pull it off because of my body.” Right or wrong, these are stories or the labels that we put on ourselves that will determine the decisions and potentially limitations we set for ourselves.

What if we chose to remove some of those boundaries and limitations and start living outside the box we created for ourselves? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be a vegetarian! Not at all! I’m just pushing you to start thinking about how you set limits to yourself in your life and how those can restrict your experiences.

Why do I bring this up? Well, since your asking, let me tell you! I saw this top about a month ago and I’ve been eyeing it since. I only decided to go try it on this week. Why did it take me so long to even go try it on? Because I had decided in my mind that: A) It wasn’t my style because it was too girly; and B) My boobs are too big for this type of top and it’ll just accentuate my chest. Why didn’t I just go and TRY on the top in the first place? Because my story was “My style isn’t ‘girly’”. And guess what? I went to try it on, I liked it, I bought it, took it home, tried an outfit I had in mind…and LOVED it! I actually felt super confident and girly in this top!

I dared to step outside the boundaries I had set for myself and I’m so happy I did because I don’t have a top like this in my wardrobe and now I have a different style of clothing that I wont be afraid to try when I go shopping!

What are some ‘stories’ that you tell yourself? What can you do to do something opposite of your story to step outside the boundaries? Share your thoughts with me, I’d love to see what you think of this blogpost!

[ Photo credit : Thank you to my amazing hubby for making time to take pictures of me! ]

The post { Daring to Step Outside the Boundaries } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

I set goals at the beginning of the year and based on that, I set monthly and weekly goals. These aren’t limited to ‘big’ goals but also things that I want to do throughout the month, people that I want to see, and things that I want to experience. I feel empowered to sit down at the beginning of the month and set the intention for the month to make sure that I’m on track with what I want t create in my day-to-day life. It helps me stay focused and consistent on my efforts.

My Bullet Journal is my favourite way to track my monthly goals because I can channel my creativity and I can also refer back to it in the future if I want to get some inspiration! The way I set up my goals for the month are by splitting it in categories: blog, health, fun, self-love and romance! Here are my top goals for the month for each category:

{ Blog Goal : Refine the Mission Statement }

Even though I’m still working on content because I have so many ideas, this blogpost inspired me figure out more specifically my mission statement and the purpose of the blog. I think that this will help me write a better ‘About’ page and will help me with creating better content for you guys.

{ Health Goal : Improve my Sleep }

I’m in a vicious cycle where my stress affects my sleep, and then because I’m tired, my stress management hasn’t been optimal to say the least. I really need to buckle down and be more disciplined about my evening routine with meditation, no screen time, having a relaxing tea and reading a book. I’m thinking of adding a few other  elements like a lavender pillow spray for example to see if it helps. If any of you have advice about getting restful sleep, I’m all ears!

{ Fun Goal : Socializing }

This might seem funny to you but this month is filled with social activities, from my mother-in-law visiting to many birthday parties and my first 5K run this Sunday! To be honest, it initially was stressing me out because it means that every weekend is filled, which leaves little time for meal prep, exercising, time with my hubby, let alone time to rest and have some quality Seppy-time. But then I decided that instead of looking at it as something stressful, it’s going to be fun and things to look forward to. And guess what? It has been fun so far! Busy, but still fun. I’m trying to make sure to carve out down time at home to make sure I am rested, but changing what I focus on has helped.

{ Self-Love : Pampering }

I’m in desperate need of some pampering so I’m going to schedule a pedicure this week and hopefully a massage next week! It’s important to include some self-love in your goals so that you don’t forget to take care of yourself because I tend to forget very easily.

{ Romance : Quality Time }

Our schedules are so busy that I want to make sure that at least once a week, hubby and I have some quality time together where it’s just the two of us and we are able to have fun, talk, catch-up, talk about our projects, laugh, wander, enjoy the weather. So far, we’ve actually had quite a few date nights which has been so nice. Making a conscious effort to spend time with your significant other is important.

Do you set monthly goals? If so, what are some of your goals for June? If not, what is something that you would like to do or see this month? I love hearing from you guys so make sure to stay in touch through social media!

The post { Monthly Goals | June } appeared first on Elle is for Love.