Isn’t it funny that even though we might know something, we don’t do it? For example, you know you shouldn’t be on your phone before bed, and yet, here we are, at 11:30 P.M. scrolling through Twitter (guilty!).

Even though I know what I SHOULD be doing to practice self-care on a daily basis, there’s a stronger pull towards working on my goals and my to-do list. But this has gotten me into trouble a lot lately.

If you read my previous post about managing anxiety, then you know that I’ve been in a cycle where I push myself beyond my limits by going to the gym even though I should probably go home and rest, or going to bed too late because I want to work on the blog just a few more minutes.

Yes, I need to work on that. And even though I know part of the root cause of why I over-do it all the time, I haven’t been able to crack the code on how to overcome the emotional aspect of it.

In the meantime, I’m going to be more mindful about consistently practicing self-care on a daily basis. I’ve committed to it, so it’s happening (again). So far, it’s been going well, and the funny thing is that the minute I implement these steps, I notice a significant difference in how I’m feeling physically and emotionally.

My sleep is more restful, I don’t feel like I’m holding my breath all the time or holding tension in my shoulders. I’m able to stay more level headed when something ‘bad’ happens and I’m more able to go with the flow and not get worked up if I don’t have my weekend planned to the hour (because yes, when I get stressed out, I need to control what I can, which includes my schedule…I know, I sound like a maniac).

Here are the daily self-care practices you should implement every day but that have a big long-term impact on your mental and physical health. Show yourself some self-love and find the self-care practices that work best for YOU and commit to them on a daily basis. Consistency is key!

{ Self-care tip #1 | Spend extra time on how you look }

Let’s get back to basics: when I put effort into how I look, I instantly feel better. It’s a ‘fake it until you make it’ mentality. Self-care is both external and internal. How you feel on the outside will affect how you feel on the inside and vice versa.

If you are wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident and pretty, how will you stand, behave, feel? My bet is that you will feel damn good about yourself and you will have a little pep in your step, which will help you feel better about yourself.

What I’ve noticed about self-care is that everything is linked. Start with one thing and there’s a domino effect; you will start implementing other self-care practices and it will drastically impact how you’re feeling in the long-term. Try it out tomorrow and let me know how it goes!

{ Self-care tip #2 | Take deep breaths throughout the day }

This is something that I consistently write in my Habit Tracker because it’s an easy, on-the-go habit that calms me instantly.

I like to be in ‘preparation’ rather than ‘reaction’ mode. I don’t want to wait until I’m stressed out of my mind to practice deep breaths, but rather take deep breaths throughout the day so that I can feel the cleansing, calming and soothing effects it can have.

This self-care practice has become a habit. I find myself automatically deep breathing when I start feeling a bit stressed about something and it instantly helps me bring myself back in the moment, it brings oxygen to my brain to help me think more clearly and rationally about the situation.

** Bonus Tip ** Let’s try it together right now – take a deep and slow inhale, hold your breath for at least 5-8 seconds, and then exhale slowly. Repeat once or twice. How do you feel? Did focusing on your breath help you bring yourself back in the moment?

{ Self-care tip #3 | Be active & get your body moving }

I’ve become one of those people that needs to get a good sweat out to feel better. One of my favourite things to do on a Friday after work is to hit the gym so that I can leave all the built up energy from the week and step into the weekend feeling lighter (both physically and metaphorically!).

But I know that I tend to over-do it. There were times where I was EXHAUSTED or was too sick and I should have gone home. And yet there I was, lifting weights at the gym, which really, is just plain stupid because I need to give my body some rest.

So instead of pushing myself constantly to go to the gym, a way to practice self-care every day is to make sure that I’m moving. I have a weekly objective for the gym, and if I’m too tired, I make sure that I’m walking enough and moving enough, which can simply mean a quiet yoga session at home.

Being aware of what your body needs is an important component of self-care because you don’t want to constantly deplete your physical energy. As long as you’re getting a minimum amount of movement, it’s okay to take a break and just go home to rest.

{ Self-care tip #4 | Eat well }

When I eat well, I feel better. There’s no going around it. Yes, an occasional splurge is always great – who doesn’t love a good pancake drowning in maple syrup or Nutella? I know I do!

But generally speaking, the better I eat, the better I feel on the inside – I can feel my body working better, I feel less sluggish. I can feel that the food I’m eating is fuelling me.

Practice self-care every day means being aware of what you’re putting in your body and how it’s making you feel. I know the foods that make me feel sluggish and bloated so I generally avoid them. Since following the Body Love Approach, I’ve figured out what works best for me when it comes to breakfast and I’m still learning how I like to ‘build’ my meals so that I feel satisfied without being left hungry (or should I say hANGRY).

A balanced diet will be different for every person so just take the time to figure it out and for goodness sake, don’t do what I do and put unnecessary pressure on yourself! Life is about a balance, listening to your body and enjoying food instead of feeling guilty about it.

{ Self-care tip #5 | Positive self-talk }

I’m very hard on myself. I don’t allow myself to make mistakes or to deviate from a plan. But constantly being hard on myself, talking down if I don’t do something or if I haven’t made the progress that I want or not completing my to-do list… I mean… what the heck is the point of THAT?!

Practicing positive self-talk is an important part of self-care because it will determine how you will care for yourself. If you’re tired and you need to go home rest, will you be able to really to rest if the whole time you’re feeling guilty and telling yourself you should be at the gym instead? (Real talk cuz that’s what I do sometimes…ok oftentimes).

Positive self-talk means first being honest about how you’re feeling, acknowledging your own emotions, working through them and then finding an appropriate solution to the issue.

It excludes any negative words and judgment on yourself, but really trying to get an unbiased view on the situation so that you can figure out what you need to do right now to feel better and what you can change for the future to avoid the same thing from occurring again.

Going back to the example of the gym: instead of feeling guilty that I didn’t go to the gym and went home, wouldn’t it be so much better if instead I acknowledged that I’m physically (and maybe emotionally) too tired to have a good workout and that I would benefit more from going home, taking a nap and doing a light yoga session instead? And in the meantime, making sure that I’m eating healthy so that I stay on track with my health goals. Doesn’t that sound so much better than insulting myself?! (and yet here I am, still doing that sometimes. Oups!).

{ Self-care tip #6 | Taking time to reflect }

A big part of self-care is to make the time to reflect on your progress. It doesn’t have to take more than 5 minutes, but there’s a lot of benefit to taking a few moments and looking back on your day because it’s fresh in your memory.

Ask yourself questions: How did you feel today? Were you mindful? Did you feel happy and centered? What made you feel stressed? Are you physically and/or emotionally tired? What are the positive habits that you practiced today? How can you do better tomorrow? What can you do to take care of yourself for a few minutes? What will make you feel better? Can you schedule some self-care time in the next few days?

All these questions are important because you will learn more about yourself, what self-care practices have an impact and which ones don’t, and you’ll start being more aware of your stress triggers and figure out how you can be better prepared to handle them.

{ Self-care tip #7 | Me-time }

“Me-time” is taking a moment where I can tune out and do something mindless or something that helps me feel inspired and empowered.

Again, if you take time to reflect on what YOU need to include in daily self-care practice, you will learn what are the activities and habits that help you decompress.

Depending on my mood, me-time can be putting YouTube in the background and browsing Pinterest or Bloglovin’ and catching up on my favourite bloggers. It can mean listening to music and working on my Bullet Journal, or going out with my hubby and having quality time together. Regardless of what it is, determine what you enjoy doing and helps you relax and schedule it every day, even if it’s 5 minutes.

{ Self-care tip #8 | Meditation }

I was on a good roll with meditating every day but I kinda got off track and I haven’t been able to be consistent with it. It felt like too much of a commitment.

Until I realized that meditation comes in many forms. Meditation is to be in the present moment and being able to be with your thoughts. I take moments like washing dishes or cooking as moments where I can meditate in silence. I am mindful of what I’m doing and try to be in the present – I’m not thinking about my to-do list for the evening or what happened at work that day. I simply focus on the task at hand.

The next step that I just added recently in my daily self-case routine is to listen to nighttime meditation stories on the Calm App. This has helped me tremendously in fall asleep within 10 minutes but also having more restful sleep. This is a habit that I’m going to keep up because it has had a huge impact on my energy levels which then in turns helps my emotional management! Told you, they’re all connected.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Invest time in yourself and create an effective self-care routine that you practice on a daily basis. You will see instant and long-term benefits.

When you take care of yourself, you are showing self-love because you are prioritizing your well-being, which will give you more physical, emotional and mental energy to work on your goals and take care of others.

The post { Self-Care : How to Take Better Care of Yourself Every Day } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

Growing older doesn’t scare me. Even though society has an obsession with youth and not aging, I’m learning to accept and embrace it (now I sound old haha). There’s beauty in accumulating gaining life experience as the years go by because it means that (hopefully) you are growing as a person and every day, you are moving towards becoming the person that you were meant to be.

As every year passes by, I feel stronger in who I am as an individual, in my values and beliefs, and I am continuously discovering bits and pieces of myself that were shaped years ago when I was a little girl. I am digging out old memories and events that have shaped the person that I am today, and I embrace that because this has been my path in life and no one can take that away and no one can re-create it.

The lessons I have learned in life and that I share here with you are individual to me. They are the culmination of my experiences, moments and relationships that have shaped how I see the world today, how I react to situations and people, and who I am as a person. These experiences have shaped my beliefs, values and goals.

Embrace who you are. Because you are unique and you are beautiful as you are and your path has been exactly what it was meant to be because you were supposed to learn something from each of your experiences.

I love the idea of reflecting every year on what I learned because it’s a personal diary (that I’m sharing with the world…) but that I can look back on and maybe one day, share with my children. But until then, you can be my ‘children’ and listen to my wise, wise words.

Here are 29 things that I’ve learned in 29 years:

1) You know yourself the best – trust your instincts and your decisions

2) Take care of yourself, every. single. day. Make your mental, physical and emotional health a daily priority.

3) Chocolate is the answer, whatever the question is.

4) Your parents have the best advice.

5) Find a hobby you love and do it as often as you can.

6) Make time for physical activity. Find what you enjoy doing and do it consistently.

7) Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

8) Life is meant to be enjoyed and not to be doing something all the time. Enjoy and appreciate down time.

9) Don’t spend money uselessly, try to be mindful about your spending habits.

10) … but it’s also okay to treat yo’self sometimes to things that are useless (keyword: sometimes).

11) Brinner* is the best sh*t ever (BReakfast for dINNER = BRINNER!).

12) Enjoy the quiet moments with your loved ones and make sure to consciously register them in your memory.

13) Don’t be afraid to challenge yourself and try something new. The worst that can happen is that you won’t like it!

14) There is no such thing as failure, only progress.

15) My husband is the best thing that has ever to me in my life.

16) Even though it might be hard, change can be good.

17) Practicing daily gratitude and mindfulness are life-changing habits that you should doing right now.

18) Travel as often as you can, even if it’s an hour from your city.

19) Find what feeds your soul and do more of it.

20) Cultivate healthy and supportive relationships.

21) Quality over quantity, in everything in life.

22) Make a conscious effort to be happy every day.

23) Never underestimate the power of love. Anything you do or say, if it’s done with love, then it will be okay.

24) Love your body, it carries you throughout your day while doing a million other functions at the same time.

25) Make-up and fashion are FUN – use it as a tool to enhance your inner and outer beauty

26) Live life fully. Repeat that to yourself constantly. Don’t waste one minute.

27) Laugh often, it’s the best therapy.

28) Music is the language of the soul – enjoy it every day.

29) Love yourself, because you are amazing as you are.

The post { 29 Things I Learned in the Last 29 Years } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

This past year, I’ve had the biggest transformation of my life (and no, I’m not exaggerating that). I’ve learned so much about myself, my values, my beliefs, my thought processes. And I also learned how much strength, knowledge and resilience I have to make the necessary changes in my life.

But I’m not perfect (shocking, I know). There are still things that I’m learning and things that I don’t even know yet and I still have changes I want to make and goals that I want to achieve.

And that’s why I love blogging. I love sharing what I’ve learned firsthand and know for a fact work because they worked on me. Blogging is also a way for me to learn more about myself, to reflect on growth, but most importantly, to share that knowledge with you and to grow alongside with you.

I love the community aspect of blogging. Being able to connect with you guys and reading your comments, your struggles and your learnings…this is what makes me happy and what keeps me going with my blog.

The beauty of the blogging community is to make authentic connections
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Because I’m sharing advice, my thoughts, my ideas and suggestions on positive changes that have worked for me, there are times where I feel like a fraud because I’m not perfect. I don’t have all my sh*t together. There are days where I’m not eating mindfully or that I forget to do my deep breaths or that I’m too lazy to stick to my evening routine. There are weeks where I have a nagging feeling of anxiety that I can’t shake off.

There are days where there’s a lot of self-doubt that creeps into my head, questioning whether I will be able to reach my health and fitness goals or whether I will be able to build the vision that I have for this blog.

But what I’m realizing as I go through the process of personal growth, as I learn new things about myself and how to become better at managing life and everything that comes with it, and as I read your amazing comments, I’m seeing that it’s okay…I’m okay.

I don’t have to be perfect. I can’t be perfect. don’t think anyone expects me to be perfect (at least I hope not…). It’s okay that I don’t have the answer to everything. That it’s okay even though I share something that I learned, that I won’t be able to apply it perfectly all the time because I’m human.

I’m learning that there’s beauty in imperfection.

I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect (sorry to burst your bubble). No one is perfect.

Our path towards personal development and learning about ourselves isn’t perfect.

Nothing is perfect.

And that’s what makes life so beautiful.

Nothing is perfect. And that's what makes life so beautiful
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Just because I don’t know everything and I’m not always able to use the advice that I share doesn’t make me fraud.

Honesty, transparency, authenticity and living with intention are really important core values. And because I’m sometimes unable to apply my own advice, I feel like a fraud. I get scared that someone will notice that I haven’t reached my fitness goals that I set for myself, or that I didn’t meditate the night before, or that I had a second piece of chocolate cake even though I wasn’t supposed to…

I don’t want to be a fraud. I want to share with you what I’ve learned and what has worked for me in my path of personal development, the same way that I’ve been learning from you the advice and lessons that you’ve shared.

The biggest lesson that I learned so far this month is that there’s beauty in imperfection. If everything was perfect and we had no struggles, no challenges, what would be the point? We wouldn’t have moments where we can look back and see our progress and feel proud of ourselves. We wouldn’t be able to appreciate how far we’ve come, how much stronger we are, how much wiser we are, how much we’ve learned from our path.

Perfection is boring.

Perfection is boring! Embrace your imperfections, they make you who you are!
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There’s beauty in imperfection because those are the moments where we will learn the most, where we will grow the most, and where we will see the biggest difference in ourselves.

Strive for perfection with the realization that perfection is unattainable.

So… what am I trying to say?

That I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to know all the answers. I have some answers for questions and challenges that I’ve had, and I’m sharing those with you in the hopes that it will help someone out there.

But the truth is, I don’t have all the answers. And neither do you. We are all different and have our own life paths to follow. But if we share our learnings and struggles, then maybe together we can be stronger. As a community, we can find a wealth of resources and knowledge and experiences to share.

There is a infinite amount of things we can learn from each other. And that’s beauty of imperfection. Your imperfection has taught you a lesson in your life, and if you share that with us, then we can learn from each other and it might help someone else going through a similar experience.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Love yourself and all your imperfections…because you are perfect as you are.

Love yourself and all your imperfections..because you are perfect as you are
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The post { The Beauty of Imperfection : An Important Life Lesson } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

Well, it’s your lucky day, because I’m here to help you think outside the box a little so that you can find the perfect Christmas gift for everyone.

Think outside the box and find the perfect Christmas gifts for everyone on your list!
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Christmas time can be stressful enough as it is, the task of finding the perfect gift can feel daunting and overwhelming. But worry not my friend, it doesn’t have to be a stressful process. With a bit of thought and preparation, you can be equipped with the right tools to find the perfect gift for everyone on your list, whether they have been naughty or nice.

Growing up, we didn’t celebrate Christmas. I’ve only been celebrating Christmas with my hubby’s family and I have to say, I love it. The cheeriness, the lights, the twinkles, the decorations, the general mood during the holidays is truly magical. But I can also see the more stressful side of Christmas. One of which being the pressure of trying to find the perfect gift for everyone and the cost associated to having to buy gifts for so many people.

But why make it more stressful?! What if I told you can find the perfect gift for everyone on your list?

I’m here to teach you the art of giving gifts so that you can find the perfect gift for everyone. There’s a way to give the ‘perfect’ gift, whatever your budget might be. You just have to give yourself a bit of time and use your brainpower to figure it out.

A gift isn’t about the price tag of what you are giving. A gift is more importantly about the meaning and thought put into it. It’s a gesture to show that you thought of the person, about what they like, about who they are and about what makes them happy. Follow along these steps and you will find the perfect gift for everyone on your list!

A gift is not about how much you spent but to show someone that you thought about them
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{ Step 1 | Make your list }

Who will be getting a gift this year? Start by making a list of the people in your life that you would like to buy a Christmas gift for.

Who made it on your 'nice' list this year?
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You can also be creative with the list and include friends and acquaintances that could use a little cheer. For example, I like to give gift cards to the people handing out the newspaper in the subway, or even to our local baker. They ‘take care’ of you throughout the year and you sometimes have daily or weekly interactions with them. I’m all about spreading the joy during the holiday season.

This is something that I’d like to do on a more regular basis because I think it’s important to be mindful about spreading the joy throughout the year and not only during the Christmas, but this discussion is for another time. Let’s get back to Christmas gifts for now!

{ Step 2 | Set your budget }

Giving the perfect gift is not only about the person receiving the gift, but it’s also about sticking to your budget. There should be a balance between finding the perfect gift and making your loved one happy while also not stretching yourself beyond your financial means.

Would your close friend or family want you to be stressed out over money because you maxed out your credit card or put yourself in debt? Doubtful (and if yes, then you should question that relationship…)

The first step in figuring out the perfect gift is to set a budget. Figure out how much you can spend and determine how much will be allotted to each person as a general point of reference. Give yourself a bit of margin to maneuver if possible, but this will just help you in deciding what to buy and what to put back on the shelf.

** Bonus tip – I would encourage to start thinking about your budget ahead of time so that you can putting a bit of money aside. This will help alleviate the financial aspect buying gifts.

And remember that the value of the gift is in the thought and effort behind it, not the price tag.

The value of a gift is in the thought and effort behind it, not the price tag
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{ Step 3 | Think about the person }

When you think of a person on your list, what do they like? Do they have a hobby? What do they do in their free time? Is there something they need right now, like a sweater or new boots? What do they enjoy? Music? Going to a show? Spending time with family? Do they like to bake? What’s their personality type? What makes them happy?

Asking yourself these questions will start getting your creative juices flowing so that you can figure out a gift that will cater to that person.

This step might not be done in one sitting, but at least if you start thinking about it, it will be at the back of your mind and you might get inspired at some point in time!

** Bonus tip: I have a notes saved on my phone where I jot down gift ideas for friends and family throughout the year. If I think of an idea, I’ll write it down so that if ever I need inspiration, I’ll already have a bit of inspiration. I don’t do this only around Christmas time but I try to pay attention when I spend time with them and if something they say or do gives me an idea for a gift, I write it down.

{ Step 4 | Think outside the box }

When you’re thinking of gift ideas, be creative and think outside the box.

If they like books, is there a new book that just came out that they might not know about. Or a fun book subscription you can get. Or if they enjoy reading on the couch, a throw to make them cozy, cozy socks to keep their feet warm, a new mug to enjoy a cup of tea while they read?

Think outside the box – take one or two ‘activities’ that they enjoy and think of related products that could be used related to that.

You can also give a practical gift – maybe someone needs a new sweater or gloves. If you don’t feel comfortable buying a sweater because you don’t know what size or style to get, then get a gift card for their favourite store, and write a card with it to explain your gift! The person will see that 1) You were aware they wanted a new sweater and 2) You know what store they like!

{ Step 5 | Shopping time! }

Once you have your list ready, start shopping. Strategize which stores to go to where you can find a greater selection at a reasonable price (I’m looking at you Marshalls and TJ Maxx). I generally like to start shopping at least 2-3 months before Christmas because it gives me more time to think things through, to find the best price but also the perfect gift.

I would even suggest to start Christmas mid-summer. I know it sounds crazy but think about it, if you see something that you know someone would love, why not get it then and spare yourself the headache later? Not only does it cross off one more person off my gift list, but it also spreads out the expense so that it doesn’t all happen at the same time. My credit card thanks me for it every year.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Be confident enough to stick to your budget and trust that the thought behind the gift has more value than the gift itself. A thoughtful gift will make someone feel more loved because you took the time to think about them and find a perfect that they would enjoy, regardless of the price tag on it.

And at the end of the day, Christmas is about spending time with loved ones and being grateful for a special time in the year.

The post { How to Find the Perfect Christmas Gift for Everyone } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

Is your head spinning yet? Mine is.

Even though I’m aware that the expectations I have of myself aren’t realistic and can even seem unfair to ask of someone, I’m working on changing that. I know it comes from a deep-rooted belief that I am defined by how much I do rather than who I am as a person. But that’s a whole other story altogether. Let’s stick to the main point of this blogpost for now: how to be more productive.

With the fast-paced lifestyle that we all inevitably live, it’s easy to get overwhelmed with our endless to-do lists and commitments and expectations we have of ourselves. Luckily, I’m also an overly organized person that can’t go through a single day without planning. My constant need to be efficient and not waste time has helped me figure out really effective productivity hacks which has helped me reach some of my goals this year!

Discover the best productivity hacks that will help you reach your goals!
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I take pride in being a very efficient person, but it can sometimes be detrimental because I’ll often over-do it and tire myself out. So when you apply these tips, make sure that you are balancing out being productive with also being mindful of your current state. Sometimes, sitting your ass on the couch and recuperating should be part of your weekly goals and you should consider that as being productive because self-care is an important component of slaying your goals. I know I’m still learning that so this is a reminder for you just as much as it is for me.

So. Do you want to slay your goals and save time? If yes, then continue reading to get my best tips on how to be more productive.

Do you want to slay your goals? These productivity hacks will help you!
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{ Do everything in twos }

Why do a task twice, on two separate occasions, when you can do them in the same moment?

Let me explain.

It will take you less time in the long-run if you do something twice in the same moment, rather than starting from scratch and doing it all over again. Get it?

For example, if you do meal prepping over the weekend, why prepare lunch for one day when you can prepare it for two days. Taking the extra few minutes to cut a few more veggies or pack a second meal will save you time on Monday evening because you won’t have to do same thing over again.

Every evening, I prepare my gym bag for the next day, and I have bag inserts where I put my clean gym clothes in. When I prepare an outfit, I prepare two at the same time. It takes less effort and time to pull two pants, two tops, two pairs of socks etc. rather than doing it every evening.

This might seem minimal, but trust me, in the long run, you will find that you have more mental space during the week to do other things rather than constantly going through the same tasks that could have been done at the same time.

You can use this productivity hack in cooking too – if you’re cooking onions for a recipe, cook double the amount and keep half in the freezer so that next time you need cooked onions for another meal, it’s ready and you’ll save time from having too cut and cook onions again! It’s genius!

So next time you’re doing something, think about whether you can do it in twos so that you can save time that can be dedicated to working towards yours goals instead!

{ Start with the hardest task }

Do you tend to leave the hardest task to the very end and sometimes push it to the next day?

Avoid procrastinating and get it done right away. Starting with the hardest task will increase your productivity because you will feel more accomplished once you’ve completed that annoying task. Your sense of fulfillment will be greater and it will help you gain momentum and be more productive when you tackle the next task on your list.

{ Eliminate distractions }

Next time you sit down to get something done or you’re doing your laundry or cleaning your house, pay attention to how much time you spend checking your phone or stopping and doing something else instead. That’s a lot of wasted time, isn’t it?

When I have a specific goal in mind, I eliminate all forms of distractions and focus at the task at hand. I even give myself a time limit by which I have to finish something so that I’m sure that I’m as efficient as possible.

For example, if I want to have a blogpost ready, including writing the post, preparing the graphics, scheduling it and formatting it, I give myself a time limit by which I want it all to be done. I put my phone on ‘Do not disturb’, I turn music off (unless I’m able to concentrate better with it), I take a quick bathroom break so that I don’t have to get up mid-sentence (because that happens way to often and it ruins my creativity flow. Damn you, small bladder!), I fill up my water bottle and I get into the zone and only focus on the task at hand.

When you limit distractions, you avoid losing valuable time that could be dedicated towards completing your goal. The more focused you are, the better the quality of your work will be and the more productive you will be.

This can also be applied to doing your chores. I often found myself standing in the middle of my living room, broom in one hand and my phone in the other, scrolling through Twitter. I can justify that Twitter or Pinterest are part of my ‘work’ for the blog, but wouldn’t it be better to take 30 minutes of focused attention to broom the living room and then taking 5 minutes to scroll through Twitter rather than brooming half-assed for 10 minutes, scrolling through Twitter for 2 minutes, grooming for 5 minutes, scrolling for 5 minutes… you get my drift.

Eliminate distractions and you will increase your productivity because your attention and focus will be on one goal.

{ Have a plan }

To increase your productivity and slay your goals, you first need to know what your goals are and what your plan is to achieve them. Thus the importance of setting goals to begin with!

I’m talking about concrete goals but I’m also referring to less tangible goals like ‘feeling happy’ or ‘feeling rested’.

On Sundays, I like to take time and organize my week. This way, on Monday mornings, I wake up feeling ready to tackle my week and I know what to expect almost every day. Because I know what my goals are, I organized my week according to what I want to accomplish. With a plan in hand, I know what I need to accomplish on which evening. This way I know that after the gym, I shouldn’t wander around the mall aimlessly but should instead get my butt home so that I have enough time to work on my blog and also have some downtime to relax.

Empowering yourself with a plan will help you be more productive because when you know what your goals are and the strategy to accomplish them, you don’t really have much of an excuse but to stick to the schedule and get it done!

Productivity hack : Stick to the plan and GET IT DONE!
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{ Take small breaks }

You have to be realistic about the expectations you have of yourself and remember that you aren’t the Duracell bunny and you can’t keep on going on and on (and on).

You're not a Duracell bunny - take small breaks and you'll be more productive
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Once you have a realistic and clear plan, make sure to schedule breaks as well. Work on a goal for a certain amount of time, and then your reward can be 5 minutes of social media, or getting up from your desk and talking to your roommate or S.O., or to call a friend for a quick chat.

Scheduling small breaks will increase your productivity because you will be re-fuelling yourself throughout the day which will preserve your energy levels and your focus. That way, you wont be completely brain dead within a couple of hours of starting to work on a task. Instead, you will have focused time where you have been working on something and then you have scheduled time to take a break and be able to get back to your task refreshed.

Productivity hack : Schedule small breaks to refuel your body and mind
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{ Self-Love Lesson }

Being productive is important, especially when you have goals that you want to accomplish. But don’t forget that part of slaying your goals is also taking care of yourself so that you can enjoy the process and avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed.

What are some of your productivity tips? What are strategies that have helped you slay your goals?

The post { How to be More Productive & Slay your Goals } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

Growing up, you want nothing more but to be an adult, to be independent, to have your own home and your own life. But now that I look back, I wish that I had cherished more the moments of being a child, living at home where there wasn’t much to worry about. I wish that I had appreciated even more living under the same roof as my parents and sisters.

I still find it hard to believe that I’m adult because part of me still feels like a child while another part of me feels like I really don’t have all my sh*t together. When I think back to the perception that I had as a child of what it meant to be an adult, I definitely don’t feel like I’m anywhere close to the image idea I had created in my mind.

Where am I going this? I have no idea. Just my musings for this morning. It’s Sunday, it’s grey outside. The window in my office is slightly open, I can hear the rain outside and I can feel a slight cool breeze while I’m sitting with my hoodie, my cozy blanket and my homemade chai latte. The day feels peaceful and slow, even though I know that tomorrow, I’m going to hit the ground running.

To be honest, I had a semi-meltdown this week. Ok, it wasn’t a full on meltdown but lately, I’ve been feeling off balance (if you haven’t noticed my blogposts about anxiety and having a bad day…that should have been an indication of how I’ve been feeling).

As the year is coming to a close, I’m getting worried that I wont achieve the goals that I set out for myself at the beginning of the year. One particular goal is my fitness goals. Well, the truth is, even though I don’t like calling it as such, it’s health and fitness goals (i.e. doing 10 push ups, 5 unassisted chin-ups, improving my cardio etc.) but it’s also body goals. I want my body to be in a certain shape (toned) and I wanted my body composition to have changed (lose body fat percentage, gain muscle mass, lose overall weight).

When I sat down and looked at my fitness progress in the last year, the numbers don’t add up. I’ve barely lost body fat percentage, I’ve lost some body fat in weight, and I’ve gained some muscle mass. But the difference is marginal when you look at it from a one-year perspective.

But then when I look at my body in the mirror and I look at how I fit in my clothes, there is a HUGE difference. My stomach is a lot more toned, I have BACK muscles (never thought that would happen), my thighs are clearly slimming down, my legs look stronger than ever, and I’ve lost a few more inches all over my body in the last few weeks.

So what gives?

I talked extensively to my hubby who spends the most amount of time with me, to my sister who knows me inside out, and to my trainer who has been an amazing coach but also a great source of support and encouragement throughout this process. All three tell me the same thing over and over again, but it kept on falling on deaf ears.

They all say that the reason I haven’t seen a huge amount of difference is because of stress, which is causing havoc on my body. I don’t sleep well, I’m under constant pressure and stress, which will cause my body to be in a protective mode where I am unable to lose weight.

Stress is a silent killer...of dreams... don't let it take it over your life!
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I finally admitted it this week that I think they are right.

Considering how well I eat, how often I train and how many other things I’ve tried to change, there should have been a bigger difference. It can’t be the food nor the training.

The reality is that I’ve been obsessing over the things that I feel like I have control over (i.e. what I eat and how much I train) because it’s too damn hard to look at what I can’t control and admit that the problem lies there. That the real problem is that there are things that I can’t fix, that aren’t my problem to fix to begin with, and that I don’t have control over so I need to let go.

The truth is, I didn’t want to admit that there were external factors affecting my well-being that I need to let go of and just focus on me. I’m a natural caregiver – I want to take care of everyone around me and make sure that everyone is okay. But then I forget how Seppy is doing. I ignore that Seppy is exhausted, drained, doesn’t have the energy to really focus on her own goals and what she is trying to accomplish (not sure why I started writing in the third person here … haha).

Remember to take care of yourself first before taking care of others
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But I think that I can finally say that I need to make a drastic change. And it’s not about changing how much I exercise or what I eat, because I’ve found what works for me: I absolutely LOVE going to the gym. My trainer gives me a new program every month and I see progress – I can bench press 70 lbs, I can deadlift 80 lbs, I can do 10 REAL push-ups, I can do 5 chin-ups (even though they’re with an elastic, I’m still pretty damn proud of myself) and now I’m doing even more advanced training which is SO much fun to see that my body is capable of.

As for eating, I have my FabFour smoothie every morning which has helped me curb cravings during the day. I’ve been better at practicing mindful eating and have noticed that I crave junk food a lot less. My taste buds are changing and I can’t tolerate too much salt or sugar anymore.

These are all amazing changes that I haven’t been able to recognize. This is progress. This is change. But instead I’ve been focusing on the wrong thing. I haven’t paid attention to how I can improve my self-care routine. I haven’t been consistent enough with sticking to my evening routine or creating a morning routine that I will help me feel more balanced and in control of my emotions and my reactions.

Celebrate every success, however small or big it might seem
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Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m doing horribly. But at the same time, I need to switch things up. Which brings us to the main point of this blogpost (if you’re still reading, THANK YOU, I hope I haven’t bored you too much yet haha). The main focus for my goals for the month of November is going to be well-being, self-love and self-care. When you are doing well physically and emotionally, you feel strong and happy and everything else falls into place. If you are taking care of your body and mind, your life feels more balanced and calm. And that’s what I want and need.

Yes, I still have my blog goals and I still have fun things planned for the month. But everything will always go back to well-being and self-love. Whatever I do this month, if it’s not contributing to my well-being, I am going to pass. If an interaction, habit, event, moment is not serving me positively, I’m not going to engage. I really need take better care of myself and implement the knowledge that I know because I don’t want to get to a burn out.

Your well-being comes first
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So there you have it. A few thoughts on what’s been going on with me and what I’m planning on doing to improve my well-being. I know that the format of the monthly goals blogpost keeps on changing and even though I like to say consistent, I’m also being realistic that the whole point of setting monthly goals is to look at the previous and make changes if something is not working. And for me, the month of November will be all about self-love and focusing on my well-being.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Focus on your well-being. Love yourself enough to know that your needs and emotions are valid, that your goals are important and that you have every right to set boundaries and put the priority on your own well-being. Only you know best what you need to feel better. Take care of yourself, every day.

Love yourself enough to know that your needs are valid
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What’s one goal that you’d like to accomplish this month? 

The post { Monthly Goals and Why Self-Care is so Important | NOVEMBER } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

It happens to all of us, a bad day where regardless of the reason, everything is annoying, work is draining, you lack patience, you feel tired, you’re drained of energy. You just don’t feel centred and happy and you just want to crawl under your covers and hide from the world (Pro-tip: I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work). I get it. We all have bad days. And that was me wayyyyy too often in the past few weeks.

There are days that we are just not okay. And I’m learning that it’s okay: it’s okay not to be chipper and happy all the time. You can’t be. There’s always going to be something that comes up and depending on how you’re doing physically and emotionally, some days you are able to manage that external ‘stuff’ better, and other days, you can’t.

It's human to have bad days sometimes. What's more important is how to get out of it.
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There are many factors involved in how you’re feeling, and I’m learning how to maximize my well-being by practicing gratitude and mindfulness every day, by feeding my body what it wants and not what it needs (because my brain would tell me that my body needs ice cream every day…) and to be kind and patient with myself and not push myself to do things if I’m tired or if I need alone time. The priority should always be self-care.

Despite these efforts, I can’t control everything all the time. I don’t have control over everything that happens at work or how my sleep is every night. There are also external stressors that I can’t always manage effectively. Life happens. You can’t control it all (to my disappointment).

Life happens, you can't control everything. You only have control over how you react.
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And that’s what’s been happening the last few weeks. I haven’t managed my stress as effectively as before and I’m finding myself more tired, more reclusive, more anxious than usual. And I don’t like it. But the first step is accepting and understanding why this is happening (it also helps to understand what your triggers are) and then going through the motions until you have the energy to handle whatever you need to handle.

I’m not quite at that stage yet. Even though as I’m writing this now, I’m feeling a bit better, I know that my emotional management is still not optimal and that there are a few things that I need tackle head first once and for all. But for now, the priority is to practice self-care so that I can get myself back on my feet so that I have the energy to deal with these issues.

Until then, for days where I feel cranky, annoyed, impatient and all the draining emotions* that you can think and my mind easily spirals out of control, I try to stick to the basics and do easy things to take care of myself so that I can give myself the time and space to feel better. This is self-care 101 – the foundation of it. Do the things that make you feel better, that help you regain your physical and emotional energy. Do the things that make you feel calm and avoid what doesn’t.

Are you having a bad day? Here are a few easy ways to help you feel better
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Here are the things that I do to get through a bad day. You might want to start with one of these approaches or figure out a combination that you want to try. I truly believe that knowledge is power so be observant of yourself, what works for you and what doesn’t and create a ‘self-care toolbox’ for yourself before your next rough day before it happens. The more aware you are that this might happen the better prepared and equipped you can be and the more effective your approach can be.

{ Accept it }

The first step when you’re having a bad day or dealing with a draining emotion* is to accept it. Don’t fight it. It’s there to stay for a bit but trust that it will go away. Remind yourself that it’s temporary and it’s part of life and that it will be okay.

Step 1 of getting through a bad day : accept that you're having a bad day
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(* I’d rather call it a draining emotion instead of negative emotion because I don’t think there’s such a thing as a negative emotion – our emotions are there to send us a message and if the message is ‘negative’ (i.e. you’re reacting impatiently to something) then there’s an underlying message you need to listen to and deal with.)

A lot of the process of personal growth and emotional management starts in your brain – how you look at a situation, how you define, interpret, perceive or describe a situation. If you see it as negative, then it’ll be negative. If you try to be neutral towards it, then you’re not giving it more power and putting more energy into it and making it bigger than it is.

Your brain is a like a muscle and these habits require consistent repetition and work so that they become second nature. I’m still not there yet myself! But with time and effort, it’s worth it because you will get to a place where you are able to observe and understand your emotions rather than fight them and make it worse for yourself.

{ Deep breaths }

This is a tool that you should add to your life arsenal. The best part is that it takes literally a few seconds to take deep breaths and you can do it wherever you are. It’s one of the best ways to de-stress instantly and it’s also a basic healthy habit to have. It’s good for your body to take deep breaths because if you didn’t know, your body and brain need oxygen, so why not increase you intake to take some of that O2 to your brain.

If you tend to forget to take deep breaths throughout the day, set a reminder on your phone every hour, put a post-it on your monitor to remind yourself or get a accountability buddy so that you can remind each other during the day with a quick “breathe” text message – find a way to remind yourself to do take deep breaths throughout the day.

On a bad day, do this even more frequently if possible so that you are constantly reminding yourself to come back into the present moment to avoid your brain from spirally out of control into draining thoughts. This can be a simple way to refocus on the task at hand and not think ahead too much.

** Bonus tip – The Calm App also has a great deep breathing exercise that’s very easy to use. On really bad days, I have even gone numerous times in a quiet room at work and take 2-3 minutes to do a few of the deep breathing exercises and it helped me re-centre myself.

{ Pamper yourself }

I really believe in the ‘fake it ’til you make it mentality’ so on days where I feel like sh*t, I’ll take the extra time to put on an outfit that makes me feel confident, and I’ll take a bit more time on my makeup because it helps me feel a bit better. It might sound superficial but it really isn’t. The inside and the outside are interconnected. Take care of one and it’ll help the other.

Ironically enough, I’ll probably get more compliments on how I look on those days because I’ve put more effort into it and I usually joke back that the better I look, the worse I feel inside because I’m trying to compensate haha. But the funny is thing is that it’s not even a joke!! Pampering yourself a little bit more on a bad day will help you already feel less shitty about yourself on the outside! You have one thing less to worry about and feel shitty about!

{ Have something to look forward to }

This underlines the importance of knowing yourself and what helps you when you’re having a bad day. If you have a list of self-care practices that you know you can resort to, then it’s easy go back to it and decide what you can TONIGHT to help you feel better.

This can be going out to dinner with your S.O., calling a close friend, doing a spa night with a face mask, getting your nails done, watching your favourite show, cooking your favourite meal while listening to a podcast, going for a jog outside… Whatever works for you, figure out what would help you the most today and DO IT!

I know for me, it’ll really depend on why I’m having a rough day. This past week, even though I’ve been tired, the gym was a no-compromise solution that I looked forward to every day because I knew it would make me feel better. My workout were a bit easier some days but sweating and getting my body moving helps me de-stress the most so I made sure to do it no matter what, while also being kind with myself and listening to my body. The first day I didn’t feel like going even though I knew that I should, so i told myself I’d go and start with an easy 30 minutes on the treadmill and if I didn’t feel like continuing, I would allow myself to go home. Guess what happened? The endorphins began to kick in and I stayed for the full hour and did my full workout.

{ Don’t push yourself }

Don’t kick yourself while you’re down. You don’t feel well, why push yourself with an endless to do list or to have the same routine that you maintain when you have the energy? Are you too tired for the gym? Skip it today! You can do some light stretches or yoga at home instead, or postpone your workout to another day.

I find that I have the mental capacity to push myself a lot – push myself over my limit at the gym, push myself to be efficient when I get home in the evening to get chores done and work on my blog and life goals. It’s always push, push, push. But there are times where you need to just stop and be kind towards yourself and stop pushing.

If you're having a bad day, stop pushing yourself to do more - just let yourself BE.
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Yes it takes a bit of effort to be mindful about how you’re feeling to determine what you need right now and what you make you feel better. But go with the mentality of not pushing yourself beyond your limit otherwise you wont have the mental and physical space to recuperate and feel better and it’ll just get worse, trust me.

{ Go through the motions }

It might sound silly but go through the motions of your day. Get up, brush your teeth, do your morning stretches, get ready, go to work, go to lunch, eat your snack, go to the gym, come home, eat dinner, fold laundry, take a shower, go to bed.

Sometimes you just need to numb it out and ignore the bad day you just had as best you can and you might even forget it or you’ll have moments where you don’t even remember why you were cranky to begin with.

Our routine can easily become mechanical. And even though I think it’s important to try to be mindful throughout the day as much as possible so that you’re present in the moment, there are days where it’s better to tune out and just get through the day until you’re able to go home and get into your pjs and crawl on the couch.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

We all have rough days. It’s okay, you’re not alone. Practice self-love and take care of yourself first until you are back on your feet and THEN you can tackle what triggered your bad day. It might be something you can avoid next time, or it could be a wake up call that you need to change something. Or it’s something that you don’t have control over and you need to recognize that as well. Once you determine the trigger, you can figure out a way to manage it. But until then, love yourself and practice self-care first!

What do you do when you have a bad day? 

The post { How to Get Through a Bad Day } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

The foundation of a healthy mind and body are positive habits that you practice on a daily basis. The more consistently you take better care of yourself, the easier it will be not to get bothered by daily occurrences that you don’t have control over. It can take some time to develop these habit but after a while, they become so engrained in your day-to-day routine that you don’t even think about it consciously anymore and you just do it.

The foundation of a healthy mind and body are positive habits that you practice on a daily basis
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You want to think about habits as rituals that make you feel better, stronger, happier, more relaxed and more in control of your emotions and life. Habits are particularly important when you are going through a stressful time because they will make you feel grounded and will bring you back to moments where you felt happier and less stressed.

After going through an intense period in my life where I felt constant and extreme levels of stress, I felt emotionally and physically drained all the time. One of the most effective strategies that I used to get myself out of a really unhealthy and negative cycle was to incorporate daily habits that helped me shift my mental focus. Instead of focusing on what was NOT going well in my life, I focused on repeating the habits over and over again, day in and day out, as a way to distract myself. Little did I know that this became a subconscious coping mechanism that gave me short-term and long-term benefits.

It was challenging at the beginning to remember to implement these habits but with consistent efforts, these habits have become part of my day-to-day and have a big impact on how I feel. I know this because when I don’t practice these habits, I can feel it in how my body feels and how I’m doing emotionally (i.e. I’ll be impatient and/or grumpy – sorry babe!).

These are the habits that I’ve cultivated in the last couple of years that have had the biggest impact on my life. These are the daily self-care tools that help me feel grounded, in better control over my emotions and help me focus on things that I do have control over in my life.

{ Habit #1 | Gratitude }

If there’s one habit you should implement on a daily basis RIGHT NOW, it’s gratitude. Practicing gratitude has had the biggest impact on my life. The minute that I feel down about something or frustrated with a situation, I start thinking about the things that I’m grateful for in my life and it instantly helps my mood.

I can’t emphasize enough how important gratitude is. And you can start small – be grateful for having a home, for your family, for a friend, for having a meal, for the clothes you have, for having access to clean water, for a comfortable bed to sleep in at night… it might sound ridiculous but trust me, once you start thinking about everything you’re grateful for in your life, you wont be able to stop. There are so many things that we take for granted (like running water and electricity!! Trust me, growing up in Africa, you quickly learn that having clean running water and electricity at night at luxuries that many around the world don’t have access to).

The minute you start being mindful and grateful for the blessings in your life, it will help you put the things that are bothering you in perspective.

Practicing gratitude will put everything in your life in perspective
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** Bonus tip : Start a gratitude journal where you write down what you’re grateful for and you can keep on adding to it as time go by. When you’re having a rough day, you can go back to your gratitude journal and read your previous entries to remind yourself of happier moments.

{ Habit # 2 | Not taking things too seriously }

This is a habit that I’ve been developing in the last few years and it’s been AMAZING! There’s always a time and a place for jokes, but being able to laugh about everything and anything is one of the best habits you can develop. At work, I spend half my time laughing with my colleagues and it makes our days so much more pleasant.

Because of the positive physical effects that laughing has, it can give you an instant boost of energy and stress relief. This can help you cope with a stressful or frustrating situation. The more you laugh, the more relaxed and happier you’ll be.

Don't take yourself too seriously - laugh it off!
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And not taking things too seriously goes beyond being able to laugh throughout the day. I also mean not getting so worked up when something doesn’t go as planned. Is the bus late? Why get worked up and stressed out and create negative energy inside you? Is there a long line-up at the grocery store? Oh well! Will huffing and puffing help you? It certainly wont make the line go faster. Do you have a pile of laundry to fold and dishes to wash? AMAZING! Put on some music and have fun with it instead of getting grumpy and doing it in a bad mood (I’m guilty of that sometimes…).

Life has mundane moments and situations that you have no control over. Realizing that and being able to not take it so seriously and accepting it for what it is will drastically reduce your stress levels. This is a habit that will help you get through your days and chores a lot easier without increasing your levels of frustration and annoyance. It is what it is, but how you react to it will determine how you feel about it and whether the process will be more enjoyable or not.

{ Habit #3 | Go with the flow }

Another habit that I’m still working on. I’m a big planner (my hubby might even say I’m an over-planner, but I beg to differ) and God knows I love my to-do lists. I have a general ‘life’ list of things that I want to do (i.e. de-clutter my home, the household cleaning schedule, recipes I want to try etc.). Then I have weekly list of things that I want to do. I break that list down into daily tasks so that by the end of the week, I can be sure that I’ve done everything. So I end up having lists of lists…of lists. I know I might sound like a crazy person, but it works for me!

Even as a little girl, when my parents would pick me up after school, the first question I would ask when I got in the car was : “What’s for dinner? What are we doing tonight?”. On Fridays, the question would instead be : “What are we doing this weekend?” Knowing what to expect has always given me a sense of comfort (and to my hubby’s dismay, this hasn’t change one bit).

However, my hubby is quite the opposite. He loves going with the flow, planning things last minute, changing up the plans. It doesn’t bother him not knowing what’s coming next. He likes the spontaneity of not planning ahead.

This was initially quite challenging for someone who needed to know at the beginning of the week what to expect on what evenings and what the plans would be the following weekend. Until I realized that I was being way too rigid. So now I’m learning to find a balance between planning my week and having objectives that I want to reach, but being flexible enough to go with the flow and adjust the schedule if need be.

This habit has helped me not be so hard on myself, to be able to allow myself a night off the gym if I need it because I’m able to change the schedule and go another day, while also giving myself the opportunity to make last minute plans. This has helped me feel less stressed about planning every single day and to be able to enjoy the spontaneity that life brings sometimes, while also allowing myself to plan to a certain extent so that I can stay on track with my goals and still feel in a control.

Going with the flow is a great habit to cultivate in your life so that you are open to alternative possibilities that you would not have thought of at the beginning.

Be open to possibilities - develop the habit of going with the flow!
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{ Habit #4 | Be mindful of yourself & surroundings }

When’s the last time that you looked at sky to look at the clouds? Do you ever stop and take a deep breath to enjoy the fresh air? Are you conscious of your surrounding environment?

Without looking around, what are 5 things around you right now that you could describe with a bit of detail? Are you neck muscles tense right now? Or is your jaw clenched? When’s the last time you took a deep, cleansing and calming breath?

Stop and smell the roses - don't let life pass you by
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Life goes by too quickly. We really need to develop our habit of stopping and enjoying the small moments otherwise our life will zoom by and we will not have stopped and enjoyed the moments that mattered.

Being mindful of your surroundings will help you bring yourself back in the moment. It will slow down time a little because you will start noticing things you haven’t noticed before. You will begin to appreciate things in your day-to-day that you haven’t noticed before. And if you notice something new, maybe this will be something that you will add to your gratitude journal!

Being mindful of your physical state will also help you notice the cues your body is giving you about how you’re doing. If you’re holding your breath, take a few deep breaths and calm your nerves.  If your jaw clenched, release it. If you have too much tension all over your body or you’re feeling very tired and reacting negatively to a situation, maybe that’s an indication that you need to practice some self-care and do something for yourself.

Try as much as possible to be mindful throughout the day to ground yourself back into the moment and into the day so that you can start enjoying the crazy roller-coster that is life.

{ Habit #5 | Move your body }

I never thought I would love going the gym so much. Exercising releases endorphins in your body, which are your natural ‘happy’ hormones, so it only makes sense that when you start moving your body, you feel better!

When I’m having a bad week at work, my favourite thing to do is go to the gym and have a good sweat session. It resets my emotions so that I can be clear-minded and walk into the weekend feeling better and more empowered to work on my goals and my dreams.

Getting into the habit of moving and being active is probably the most basic health habit that we should all be cultivating We spend too much time sitting in front of our computer, then in front of the tv, then sitting in bed reading. I don’t know about you but when I don’t move enough, I feel sluggish and tired. I CRAVE feeling the blood flowing through my body. I can feel the small veins all over my body being fed oxygen. I know it sounds crazy but I’m telling you, I instantly feel the physical effect of exercising.

Get into the habit of moving as often as you can. Start with walking more whenever you can, walking up the stairs instead of the escalator, doing stretches at night, practicing yoga in the morning, going to the gym, going for a walk outside. All these efforts will add up and are important for your physical and mental health.

After a while, moving and getting physical activity will become a habit because your body will be screaming for it. It might feel uncomfortable at the beginning, but trust me, continue pushing yourself and once it becomes a habit, it feels SO good to have a sweat session where you leave all your stress and negative emotions.

{ Self-Love Lesson }

Cultivate daily habits that will help you feel grounded, centred and happy. Habits that support your health and well-being are a way to show yourself self-love because you are taking care of yourself so that you can have the energy, drive and passion to work on your goals.

Practice self-love and cultivate habits that make you feel better and happier
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How can you include one of these habits in your day-to-day routine? What’s one daily habit that you practice that helps you feel better?

The post { 5 Habits of a Happy Person to Cultivate Right Now } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

If you follow me on social media, you know that September was a rough month. There were lots of fun memories but when it comes down to it, it was an exhausting month. After coming back from Mexico, I was sick for 10 days. I got a really bad cold that put me out of commission but in retrospect, it was exhaustion more than a cold. I couldn’t drag myself out of bed and didn’t leave the house for three days. I had a recurring fever and was barely functional. It wasn’t easy to drag myself to work let alone be able to get any work done on the blog or go to the gym.

This was a wake up call that I still have to be careful about how I spend my energy and to be more aware of my own needs so that I can set boundaries when I need time for myself to recuperate. As someone that loves to take care of others and who has so many ambitions and goals, it’s easy to get caught up and forget to listen to my body. I’m having a particularly hard time shutting down my brain at night and going to sleep.

With cooler temperatures, I’m embracing the inevitable: winter is coming (any GoT fans out there?). Even though the end of the year tends to be extremely busy, I’m looking forward to a more quiet month so that I can get back on track with goals that I set out to achieve this year. This month, I decided to change the categories again, because that’s just how I felt in the moment as I was thinking about what I want to accomplish this month.

{ Health goals }

For this month, I want to make sure that I avoid what happened in September – being more mindful about my body and giving myself more time to recuperate and rest. I have a bad habit of not being to do one task at a time, so I really need to learn that if I’m resting, I need to ONLY do that. No need to scroll through social media or be on Pinterest. It’s okay to tune out and to just focus on myself and my thoughts and being present in the moment.

Practice self-love and take time to focus on yourself
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I know this is going to be a challenge for me because I have the constant need to be doing more than one task at a time to be as efficient as possible. Which is why I’m trying to shift my mindset and realize that resting is actually doing something and it will be more beneficial to me in the long-run.

I’m in the home stretch when it comes to my weight loss goals so I want to stay on track so that I can reach that goal by my birthday at the end of November! Having a target date so close is exciting but also nerve-wracking because I get nervous about NOT reaching that goal. I know that’s not the right mindset, but I think that because I’ve been working so hard on this goal this year that I want to see the final results that I’ve been wanting for so long.

With the Body Love approach, I feel like I finally have a decent handle over being mindful about eating. But I have other goals like being able to do 5 unassisted chin-ups, 10 full push-ups and being able to do the splits by the end of this year. Although I don’t know I’ll be able to achieve all of these goals, I’ve gotten a lot stronger with the chin-ups which is an incredible feeling.

{ Blog goals }

When it comes to the blog, I’m relieved because I think I have a better weekly strategy to manage everything that needs to be done. Once again, realizing that time is limited and that I need to prioritize is going to be important for me. I think that I always over-achieve and set too many goals, which aren’t realistic. I’m trying to set more realistic monthly goals so that I can achieve all of them and feel proud and fuel that motivation for the next month.

I want to implement a few more changes on the website, namely my mailing list and creating some fun freebies for you guys! This is an exciting step but also nerve-wracking. Every step that I take towards building this blog is a step towards building a business and a community that I have so many ideas for and there’s always the fear of failure in the back of my mind that I’m trying to quiet down. But the inner critique can be loud at times so I need to work on quieting her down and just keep at it and staying patient.

Every step, small or big, is taking you closer to achieving your goals
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{ Other goals }

In an effort to put less pressure on myself, I’m also trying to set less monthly goals so that they’re realistic to achieve by the end of the month. I’d like to spend more time with my family but also my hubby. Even though we live together, he has an even more hectic schedule than me so I want to start implementing a weekly date, even if it’s an hour or two. We didn’t have a lot of alone time in September and I could really feel it emotionally by the end of the month (there were a few crying fits where I just needed to physical comfort from him… I know, I’m a big baby).

Set realistic goals so that you're setting yourself up for success
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{ Self-Love Lesson }

Take care of yourself on a daily basis. This will avoid a build up of stress and exhaustion. Being mindful of how you’re doing physically and emotionally are important in determining if you need to take time to recuperate and practice some self-care.

I’m planning to write out a more specific daily self-care plan that I want to stick to. There are too many things to do in the world to waste time sick in bed! So I want to make sure that I’m taking better care of myself, even if that means saying no to some things or putting less pressure on myself with cooking for example.

What are your goals for the month of October? How are you progressing so far?

The post { Monthly Goals | OCTOBER } appeared first on Elle is for Love.

After not having a panic attacks for months, I was disappointed in myself. Even though the panic attack was quite mild compared to what used to happen, I still wasn’t happy that it happened. Until I realized that not only was I able to pull myself out of it within 10-15 minutes, but I was also able to function for the rest of the day AND by the end of the evening, I was in a great mood.

In the past, I would have a panic attack that sometimes lasted over an hour, where I would start hyperventilating to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I would often curl up in bed and be too tired for the rest of the day to do anything, whether it was to eat or talk to anyone. It wasn’t easy and those moments scared me and felt incredibly lonely.

I thought sharing my story might help some of you if you have panic attacks or moments where you feel so overwhelmed that you become paralyzed. It can feel lonely, even though you might have a supportive family, friends or partner. But hopefully my story will make you feel less lonely and give you hope that it can get better. It takes time and energy to build your ability to address the underlying issues behind the anxiety, but it’s worth it. I feel like I’ve come out of the other end and I feel much stronger and happy, even if I still have moments where I feel anxious and overwhelmed.

There's always light at the end of the tunnel
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Here are the things that I learned to implement immediately when I start to feel overwhelmed, anxious and panicky. It takes time to develop the instinct to resort to these tools, but the first step is always recognizing that your approach is not working to then be able to try other methods to see what works best for you.

{ Take deep breaths }

Panic attacks are a physical reaction to stress and anxiety. So the first approach should be to calm your nerves and the most effective and basic way you can do in an instant is by controlling your breath. If you’re crying (cuz you know I do..!) it might be a bit harder to do, but trust me, the first thing you want to do is to get that breath under control.

The best method for me as been to simply inhale as slowly and as deeply as I can, and then to hold the breath for a couple of seconds, and exhale as slowly as possible. Doing this even 2-3 times will help you immensely.

De-stress instantly : breathe in deeply, hold, breathe out slowly
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** Bonus tip: Taking deep breaths is something that I try to do during the day regardless because we sometimes subconsciously hold our breaths because we’re stressed out. Your body and brain needs oxygen. The physical act of inhaling deeply and moving those stomach and lung muscles will do wonders for your stress during the day.

{ Talk to someone }

This is a tough one. I’m the type of person that closes in on herself when something is going on. But I realized that this isn’t a healthy way to living. We have family and friends for this exact reason – to be a social support when you need something. I’m trying to stop looking at it as me being a burden on them and rather reaching out whenever something is going on.

When I had my attack last week, I immediately called someone that knows me and who I trust – my hubby. Yes, I have amazing sisters and family that can offer the support, but in this moment, I needed my hubby for various reasons. I was able to let out the anxiety (by crying hysterically) but also talk through what triggered my anxiety. The simple act of talking about it made me feel relieved that I was able to share the emotions with someone who knows me, who wants me to be happy, but who also knows what I need when I’m feeling distressed.

Surround yourself with a support system that you can turn to in moments of need
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By talking through how I was feeling, I was able to validate that there’s a reason I feel anxious. Doing that is so important because instead of beating myself up, I am able to allow myself to feel whatever I need to feel in the moment. Removing that initial pressure is an important step because once you’ve acknowledged your emotions, you can then work through them and figure out what you need to do next to move on.

{ Take care of yourself }

Stress and anxiety are very draining. The mental and emotional drain will inevitably cause you physical fatigue. After the panic attack, I felt sleepy, which made it that much harder to go back to work and sit at my desk to try and focus and get work done.

Even though I had to go back to work, I still allowed myself the space to do easier and mindless tasks so that I didn’t have to push myself to focus and use even more energy that I didn’t have.

You need to give yourself the time and space to recuperate from the drain. I can’t emphasize this enough. Depending on your circumstances, this might not be possible, but if you can, even taking 5 minutes to close your eyes and meditate or do breathing exercises, walking around outside and getting some fresh air, or taking a few moments to distract yourself,…take a few moments (and longer if possible) to take care of yourself.

The evening after the attack, I was so excited to get to the gym and get my blood flowing. The release of endorphins after running for 50 minutes on the treadmill was exactly the medicine that I needed. I then went home and had a quiet evening, prepared an easy dinner, watched some Netflix and worked on my blog. I know the things that help me regain energy and I made sure to implement those strategies.

By the end of the evening, I was a happy camper. I even made my hubby laugh a few times because I’m so darn funny (this is an on-going joke – my hubby doesn’t always laugh at my jokes because we have a different sense of humour so when I am able to make him laugh, I feel like it’s a momentous occasion that I need to mark on the calendar. Don’t tell him but my favourite thing in the world is ot

The importance of self-care keeps on coming up over and over again, and there’s a reason for it.

Avoid burnout, overwhelm and anxiety by practicing self-care on a daily basis
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{ Self-Love Lesson }

Recognizing you have made progress is an important step in self-love. We have to become our own biggest cheerleader to encourage ourselves in the right path. I could have easily told myself that I had failed because I had a panic attack after all this time. But guess what? I’m human, there was a lot of sh*t happening at the same time AND I had been sick for over a week, so it’s understandable that I felt overwhelmed. It’s okay. What matters is HOW I picked myself up and the progress I made from a couple of years ago where I wasn’t functional for a while and would have bi-weekly panic attacks.

What’s an area in your life that you have made progress in that you can be proud of? How will you celebrate this victory? 

The post { 3 Ways to Instantly Get Rid of a Panic Attack } appeared first on Elle is for Love.