{ 5 Tips on Building Self-Confidence }

After years of being quiet, reserved and keeping to myself, something clicked recently: I’ve become more carefree, confident, outspoken and … happy! I don’t care as much about what people think and I feel comfortable showing my funny and crazy personality. It has been such a liberating feeling to not have to ‘control’ myself and allow myself to just be ME without having to edit what I’m going to say and how I’m going to behave and react. Doesn’t that sound amazing? Well, it sure feels amazing…and I wanted to share with you what I’ve learned along the way to build my self-confidence.

What is self-confidence? Simply said, it’s trusting yourself. Trusting your opinion, capabilities, skills and judgment. The ‘outward’ expression of self-confidence is how you carry yourself – how you talk (for example your tone of voice), how you present yourself (for example how you dress) and how you interact with others (for example, expressing your views or holding back).

Growing as an individual and building yourself requires constant work. I’m not confident or 100% every single day because that would be impossible. We all have our days where we are down on ourselves, have more negative self-talk or experience disappointment because of ‘failures’. The important part is to get back up stronger then before and learning from what just happened!

When it comes to self-confidence, there are a few things that you can do to build that muscle. And I see it as a muscle because at the end of the day, the perception that you have of yourself starts with what goes on in that lovely brain of yours. How you talk about yourself will affect how you feel and see yourself and ultimately will affect your confidence.

How to Build Self-Confidence-Preview

Here are 5 tips to build your self-confidence:

{ Know yourself }

Recognize your strengths and abilities! Once you start realizing the amazing qualities that you have to offer, you will start to see yourself differently. It’s easy to get in a negative headspace where you talk badly about yourself. I have a page in my Bullet Journal where I write down my strengths, qualities, abilities, so that I can refer back to it on days where I’m having a harder time with my confidence.

{ Quiet the inner b*tch }

Let’s be real – that voice in your head can be a real b*tch sometimes, telling you mean things. You have to learn to quiet her down and ignore her. Recognizing that you have a voice inside your head trying to sabotage you will help you in the long run to be able to pinpoint when she’s chiming in when she really shouldn’t be. And shut her up before you get in a negative headspace! Question the comments she’s making, and counter each one with something positive. Your list of strengths will help in this situation so that you can remind yourself that she’s wrong!

{ Fake it until you make it }

There are days where you are just not going to feel well. But the same way that your thoughts will affect you feel, how you feel physically can also affect your thoughts. If you are feeling a bit uncertain about yourself, throw on your best outfit, a bit of makeup, whatever makes you feel better, and tackle the day with a big smile and your head held high. The action of pretending you are confident will help, trust me!!

{ Surround yourself with the right people }

This can be a tough one because you have to be brutally honest about your social circle. Observe who makes you feel better about yourself, brings you up when you are down, encourages you to become a better yourself, has nice things to say about you! I’m not saying to cut off people if they don’t do all those things, but your time is precious, so choose wisely you is going to help you build yourself up instead of bringing you down.

{ Create self-loving habits }

At the end of the day, you are your best friend. You have to take care yourself and know yourself so much that you are able to KNOW that you are confident. This also starts with taking care of yourself so that you are taking of yourself and practicing self-love. Think about it, if you create a safe and loving environment for yourself where you give yourself the space to do things that make yourself feel better, then you are going to treat yourself the way that you should be.

When do you feel most confident? How did you build your self-confidence? Share your tips and tricks in the comment section below! I love hearing from you! 

building self-confidence

17 Comments

Manavi

I think I struggle with mental health. I loved the way you put how self confidence is basically trusting yourself. There’s a lot of truth to that.

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Sepideh

Yes, we have to develop that trust every single so that we begin to feel stronger and more confident!

I think that everyone has some struggles but at different degrees, as long as you’re aware of them and get help if you feel as though you need it <3 <3

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Amanda Ripsam

I have always used the fake it until you make it when it comes to building self confidence it gets easier when you think you can do something and then actually doing things build up more self confidence

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Sepideh

Agreed!! It can be hard to overcome at times and get into the headspace of really faking it but it’s like a muscle that you can build over time!

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Heather Gilbert

“Fake it till you make it!” I think this is my life’s mantra – and you’re right, it really DOES seem to generate confidence, even when I am not feeling it at that moment. I have days when my confidence soars, and other days that I need to employ more of these tips, like quieting my inner b*tch… =)

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Sepideh

hahaha I love it!! I think it’s comforting to know that we all our days and if we have the right tools in our arsenal to manager ourselves, then we can make ourselves feel better!! Thanks for visiting and commenting Heather!! XO

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Sabaesse

On the nose with every single one of these! Something I do, taking point #3 a bit further, is to ask people close to me when I need some lovin’! It’s a delicate balance though of doing that to recharge vs becoming dependent on their attention to feel confident… great post !

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Sepideh

What a good point – finding a balance between asking what you need but also learning how to give that to yourself..!! I didn’t think of that! I think we all need a bit of a nudge once in a while but it’s also important to build that capacity ourselves..

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Ashley

This is all so true. I have always been a person with low self confidence, and I don’t know why. I always get along with people and people like me, but I always doubt myself – am I good enough, nice enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc? It’s good to just be yourself and have confidence in that. Those who like and accept the true your are usually your family and real friends, the others who don’t are not. Thank you for reinforcing this in my mind!

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Sepideh

Low self-confidence can be caused by so many reasons and probably started at a really young age. The good news is that it’s never too late to build it!

What helps me is writing down things I love about myself so that during the times where I’m feel down on myself I can refer back to it and remember that I felt confident at some point. Having the right people around is another important aspect of it so that they can support when you need the extra push 🙂 You can do it!

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Sahar

Spot checking every one of these all the time also helps–you get yourself on track, think you’ll be fine, then a couple of weeks later, ooops! 😛

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Sepideh

Oh man, TOTALLY! It’s good to reflect to figure out why was the trigger for slip-up to continue to understand yourself and grow <3

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